"I Just Don't Wanna Be Tied Down Right Now..." Yeah, Whatever...

I just wanna start by saying that I'm one the six black or latino gay people who wasn't at the POCC Ball at Webster Hall last night, not because I couldn't go or because I'm one of those delusional gays who tries to totally diassociate himself from the ballroom scene, no, nothing like that. I didn't go because I had to go to my part-time day job today and I just didn't wanna be out half the night and be tired in this morning, that is such torture. But a few short months ago, something like that would have never stopped me from going out to such a big event last night. I would have went out, got home late and been tired and evil and bitchy and miserable all day today and if I didnt get at least two phone numbers I woulda really been pissed.

An even bigger part of why I don't go out so much anymore is because I have a man now and now that I have him there's just no reason for me to be out like that anymore. And I'm so past that whole 'I just go to clubs to dance lying-ass-bullshit!' Yes that is bullshit and your single ass knows it too! That withstanding, I was never really into clubs that much anyway, so now I'm really over it. But what kills me is that when I was single and looking for a man ("...big mistake... huge!" -Julia Roberts) I wanted a relationship and I would often get involved with people who had the same old gay story (violins playing) "I, I just don't wanna be tied down right now. I was involved with someone and I got hurt and... and I just need time to do me... etc, etc, etc..." While I don't regret those or any of my past relationship experiences disasters, wastes of time, etc., they helped make me who I am today, even though I must say they missed out on a really great guy. But I digress...

Though most dudes associate being in a relationship with bondage (which may be good if you're into that sorta thing) I have found a great freedom in being attached. Because when you're single and supposedly not looking, you are still looking, sure you are, subconsciously or sometimes not so subconsciously. When I was single and "not looking" and I would go to clubs and see a fine ass dude looking at me I would look back. If I didn't step to him myself I would damn sure want him to step to me. I would wear my flyest gear to the club, why? So niggas would look at me and admit it, you do it too.

Thinking about the whole elimination of the looking factor from my life now I thought about all the other things being involved has freed me from. I decided to make a list. Being in a relationship has freed me from:

- Feeling like I have to go out. I can go to the club, or not go to the club, I don't care. I got a man waiting for me at home.

- Looking for dates. Yeah he's cute and I could probably bag him. But he's probably an asshole like the last three dudes I talked to. I'm good. I got a man at home.

- Looking for dates... online. No more sitting up at two in the morning with one hand on my dick and the other on my keyboard. I can just 'tap my baby on the shoulder, he'll roll over' and I will do the same. And it feels good to be one of those people that can say on their online profile that their taken and have a man at home. Even though I never said I'm totally against a hot threesome tho...

-Looking for dates... on the chat line. That's just pitifiul. But in our horniness we have all done it. Everybody has that story about the beast they met on the chat line. And if you dont have one then it's you. Get into it!

- Being the third wheel. When my best friend has a boo. We can double date.

And these are just the beginning of all the wonderful things having somebody in my life has freed me from. So you can go ahead and live your fancy free life in your clubs, on your internets, and on your chat lines. I'm good. I got a man at home.