One of the coolest things about being gay is that you eventually get to tell people about it and laugh at the expressions on their faces and their awkward dead silences. That is, after you've cried and prayed and prayed and cried and contemplated suicide and have finally accepted it yourself. Anyway, as you have read my 24th birthday party was a "coming out" party of sorts to a lot of my straight friends who have known me from back in the day. One of those people was Kelly Robinson (that ain't her real name) who I went to junior high and high school with. She's known me from when I was thirteen years old, the apex of my awkward youth up until I was eighteen, right when I started cultivating my sexy and becoming the love machine you see before you today.
Kelly was the love of my thirteen year old life. I had the biggest crush on her (and this other boy in my school) and I'm not really sure why. She was pretty, she was popular, but she wasn't really very nice to me now that I think about it. She wasn't malicious but she treated me the same way Laura Winslow treated Steve Urkel. She was cool with me and liked me as a person, but now that I think about it was probably was annoyed by my constant romantic overtures, which probably came off as a little mean at times. Like Laura and Steve we were friends, I guess, in a roundabout way but we were never close, close. I remember the guys she used to go out with, one of them was a real jerk (we'll call him Boy #2). I remember he used to pick on me at times back then (If I saw him today I would so kick his ass!). Not only did he pick on me but he didn't treat Kelly so well either. I would have been a much better boyfriend. Toward the end of the eighth grade I started getting over her and kinda thought she was a bitch (sorry Kelly you know I love you gurl). By the time I transferred into her high school when I was sixteen all my romantic feelings toward her had dissipated and it was all about the boys by then.
A few months back I found her via MySpace. I sent her a message basically saying "Hi, how are ya?" and giving her a very general update on my life. I didn't include the whole gay thing, this was her reply back:
"My my my how you have changed so much from the Adam in 218"
Our junior high school was IS 218, here in Brooklyn, NY. I guess me changing refers to me being all grown now and I'm sure all the shirtless pics on my MySpace didn't hurt. And I said:
"yeah, we've all gotta grow the hell up some time... lol"
I sounded so cool typing that, you gotta admit that shyt was cool. I typed that in my deep, Billy Dee Williams sexy voice, sexy, but still nonchalant. That lol, that was actually a light sexy chuckle. Then she said:
"It seems like a good grow up though"
Say what! Did I read that shyt right? Did Kelly Robinson just flirt with ME? Me, Adam Irby, the boy who loved her in junior high school, the boy she gave NO PLAY to back in the day. At that moment I was brought back to the eighth grade. I thought about how cool I woulda been if Kelly Robinson were my girlfriend back then. I wanted to flirt back just to see how far it would go but then I remembered, oh yeah, I'm gay, I almost forgot there for a second. And besides I had no sexual interest in Kelly anymore, she's a nice girl and everything but... nah. Maybe we go shopping one day or something.
Kelly and I kept in contact via MySpace and would exchange pleasantries here and there. She finally gave me her phone number. At the end of eighth grade she wrote her phone number in my yearbook... only six digits though. Gosh she was a total bitch!(Sorry Kelly you know I still love you gurl!) What did I see in her? Anyway, I called her and in that conversation I ended up inviting her to my birthday party and of course I told her that it was being held at my boyfriend's apartment. All she said was "okay", kinda the same way Brendan (my straight male friend) did. I have to admit that I was taken aback by the fact that she had nothing to say about my being gay. Had she sensed it all along?
Unfortunately, Kelly couldn't make it to the party. I sent her and anyone else who couldn't make it to the party a link to my blog post about it via MySpace. This was her reply back:
"...I remember when u told me on da phone dat ur boyfriend was planning ur party...n da first thing I said was since when is Adam gay...he had a crush on me. Sweetie...y didn't u jus tell me that u were gonna go da other way if I didn't date u...I wud've given u da chance u deserved lmao..."
Then she went on to say:
"...I had great taste back then didn't I. Boy #1 and Boy #2...I'm not sure who ws the bigger idiot lol. U kno Boy #2 was transfered 2 my H.S. and made my life a livin hell."
Then she went on to ask about my boyfriend:
"...what's he like? How did u meet? how long have u been gay? how long have u been together? and any other mushy stuff u wanna throw in there lol."
Wow, she said she would have given me the chance I deserved. There you have it, total and complete vindication. And she admitted Boy #2 was an asshole, because he so was! I never replied to her MySpace message. I've just super busy since then. We talked before about meeting up one day and catching up. but you know it's one of those things you say you're gonna do but you never really intend to actually do it. I'm sure it's that way on both of our parts. If we never see or hear from or speak to each other again I have everything I need right here. Thanks Kelly.
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Playing In The Background...
"Mr. Radio"
by Chrisette Michele
from the album "I Am"
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Damn adam! I didn't know it was that serious. I mean "kelly" was cute but damn. That's some real jones in the bones! Anyway, If you had dated her, you guys would not have become friends, you would have hated her and I would have had to have the Step Team jump her for fuckin up our flow! I mean she was cool but she couldn't roll with us! It just wouldn't have worked. It's like wearing too many accessories; their all cute just not together! And judging by her message she is still a little sarcastic son of a sista too! Atleast she didn't change! and I'm not sure if thats a good thing or a bad thing.
I was about to say y'all should have had at least one catch-up meeting to really catch up and jus' clear the air, see if the friendship would be rekindled and give us readers a good story. Then I read what your friend Kiemie comment and maybe she's right. Homegirl might have been really sarcastic if you hungout with her too catch up. From the messages she seems a li'l sarcastic and biting (I'm sure you can handle). It would have made a great story, whether homegirl was kind or cruel, but it might not be worth the chance that she'll be total bitch (sorry Kelly; I don't know you I'm goin' from what I read). (smiling)