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Today, August 29th, 2007 is officially Ladies Day here at
Adam's Web Log. All of my posts today will have a unifying theme of
interest toward the fairer sex.
Enjoy.
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I need a girlfriend. No I'm not saying that in an 'oh, I wish I was straight' kinda way or as a result of some guy breaking my heart. But I need an actual girl friend, a good good girl friend. Every homo needs to have a really really good straight female friend to hang out with and unfortunately I don't have one at the moment. A lot of times us homos can get so caught up in homo culture that we lose sight of all straight people. As our we gain more friends and associates that are homosexuals our world can start to become unbalanced, especially for those who work in the LGBT community. Even in my own life I've noticed that the more involved in the gay community I've become the more I have lost touch with my straight friends.
In high school I had girl friends. My best girl friends were usually black or asian. Amerie would be a perfect candidate to be my best girlfriend if she weren't so busy with her dayum singing career. Look at us, (click here to look at my pictures with Amerie) we look so cute together. We could go shopping and talk about guys and clothes and everything. She would bring her boyfriends around me, I would tell her whether they're gay or not. I'd probably be fucking around with her stylist, or make up artist, or hair stylist, you know they're all probably all gay. It would be perfect, but alas, Amerie is too busy for me.
Having a girlfriend would also give my parents a little glimmer of hope that I'm straight. I had a really good girlfriend in high school. I took her to church with me once and my parents, especially my father to this day still talks about her and calls her "my little girlfriend". I think to myself 'dude, this was like seven years ago, your kid is gay, let it go!'
Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of female friends, just not a really close one. Yesterday I was at Burger King and the Spanish girl behind the counter was saying goodbye to one of her co-workers. He was a lil' fem Spanish boy, probably Puerto Rican or Dominican. They were just talking and laughing, you could tell that they were best friends. I thought 'Awww I wish I had that'.
My future good good girlfriend can't just be any ol' round-the-way strumpet. Adam's girl friend has to be a bad bitch! They type of girl that makes people of both sexes heads turn. Here's a list of what I'm lookin' for. My good good girlfriend:
- must be attractive.
Actually I'd like it better if she were drop dead gorgeous but I can skimp a little on this requirement because it's not like I'm dating her.
- must have NO kids.
I'm not really into kids right now and I don't babysit. She must be available to go out and party on the drop of a dime and a mother (a good one anyway) can't do that. And a girl with kids also equals baby father drama so every time I wanna chill with my home girl I gotta deal with his dumb ass... no thanks!
- must not be homophobic.
That goes without saying but I said it anyway.
- must not be a prude.
As much as I talk about sex I need a girlfriend that won't cover her ears and will be able to take hearing about my exploits.
- must speak the gay lingo.
Event hough I'm not a big speaker of the lingo I do understand it, so must she or she should at least be willing to learn. How is she gonna survive in the gay clubs and not know the language.
- must dress like a girl.
I don't care whether she's straight or gay but my home girl can't be butch. Why you ask, because she can't, that's why. I have enough guy friends. But I still got love for all my AG's, just don't beat me up in the Village, okay? LOL
- must have style.
I need my girlfriend to look like she fell out of a magazine when we go out. Regular everyday doesn't matter so much to me.
- must not be a silly bitch.
I can't have a girlfriend who I have to counsel every eight seconds because some nigga is playing her.
Do you fit the requirements? I hope no one is taking me too seriously as this list is all in fun. But if you're a straight girl lookin for a new gay "guylfriend" I'm your man.
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Playing In The Background...
"Girl"
by Destiny's Child
from the album "Destiny Fulfilled"
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I'll be your girlfriend. I think I fit the criteria, I'm even Asian, lol. Although, I'm not sure how well it would work out seeing as you're up North and I'm in the deep South.
Nice thought though, I'm always telling my friends I wish I had me a cool gay friend.
You are going to laugh at me- not that I mind, but at one point, I was on a hunt for a gay male friend- like... I was searching. I did find one but he was always at his cousin's house and the more I think about it, he may have been fucking his cousin.
I did end up with a gang of lesbian/bi female friends though.
I don't fit the reqs. But, if you're ever in Atlanta, we need to shop.
Dude, your requirements sound like those of a straight man(give or take a few). You are funny....... But I totally understand the need and benefit of having a hag or two. I'd be a hot mess without my angelz
The last one on the list was funny.
To have to counsel your silly bitch friend on the dude that's playin' her is a way funny thought.
You jus' helped me in writing the next chapter of my book.
Thank you.
Funny a$$ list... Much like Erica I've been searching for a gay male friend...still looking...Kinda hard in Jamaica (sad but true) There are a couple at work and I do have a friend thats gay but not a best friend. Have you found one though...Its like a year since you wrote this post.