I called my mother today. We had our usual "Hi. How ya doin'?" small talk, being careful not to say too much as not to delve into all the whole gay thing I'm doing now. My mother still thinks that "I'm just a freak who likes sex" and that it's "just a phase" (she's right about the first part though). Unlike almost all of our previous conversations she hasn't asked me when I'm making my way to Virginia Beach to see everyone, a trip I have been subconsciously putting off all summer. See I have a love/hate relationship with Virginia Beach and anywhere else in this country besides New York. I love Wal Mart, I hate everything else. Toward the end of our oft interrupted conversation (I was at work) she dropped the bomb on me. She is coming to New York Labor Day weekend along with my father and my sisters and they are staying at my small ass apartment.
Don't get me wrong, I love my family and now that it's had about two hours to sink in I'm actually excited to have them come up. As I typed that sentence my mind immediately flashed to the Tiger Tyson DVD on my nightstand, you know the one where he's smiling and the young blatino boy (not like boy, boy, but like over 18 man-boy) is sucking his dick, ooh, well that's like all of them, but you get my point, and all the small purple and clear bottles of Astroglide in my drawer, and all the NYC Condoms I've got laying around everywhere, and all the party fliers with the naked boys (man-boys) on them, ooh and let's not forget all the porn on my computers, and those naked pictures of me on my iPhoto, and the ones where I'm kissing my boyfriend (who she's never met but i'm sure she's heard about through one of my sisters), yikes! I'm so fuckin' gay. I've really gotta give my place the parental clean up before they get up here. As much as I want my parents to respect the fact that I'm gay they are getting up in age and I don't wanna give them heart attacks. I'm not ashamed of my gayness but I don't want my parents to know the kinda freak I really am. And I would want them to see that gay life is more than just sex... it is, really, right?
I actually miss them a lot. Even though I'm gay and they're straight, I think they're judgmental and they think I'm gonna burn in hell, they're still my parents and at the end of the day I'm still they're baby. I have a confession to make, don't laugh but I still call my parents "Mommy" and "Daddy", I'm so ashamed.
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Playing In The Background...
"Wake Up Call"
by Maroon 5
from the album "It Won't Be Soon Before Long"
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Ummmm I still call Mommy and Daddy, Mommy and Daddy. What else am I suppose to call them?!?!?! And you better hop to work on getting that apartment a PSA (Parental Seal of Approval). We all make that extra effort to tuck away the porn and paraphernalia...except me...I'm a good boy...I don't have any of those things...
You've got two options. You can "straight bomb" the place and make it as neat and tidy as you possibly can or you can let it all hang out. Letting all hang out would mean a fishbowl of condoms on the table, display dildos as art pieces and blow up one of the nude photos and hang it in your kitchen. I'd personally go with the latter option but I know how you are. Good Luck and tell mama I said hi! She doesn't know Im gay,does she? Not that I care , I'd just hate for her to give me the "eye." I like to stay in the good graces of all my friends' parents. lol. Ciao!
I still call my parents by parental acknowledgement. I can't call them by their first names now.
Anyway, it's your life and your porn and your family and you know w'at's best.
Have fun on the next visit they have.
(they might have been checking for signs of gaynessa round the house too; eek!) (chuckle)