Last Saturday night was my first date with Pubby. I've given him that nickname (that he just told me he doesn't like) because he works in magazine publishing. We had been beating around the bush, flirting via email and text message since our brief first meeting last week until I finally asked him out. I had originally asked him out to dinner but he already had dinner plans for that evening. So I asked him to dessert instead. Earlier that day I was flexing my concierge muscles searching for just the right place to go. After reviewing some of the menus online I realized that some of these dessert bars are a little too foo foo for me. Who the hell ever heard of corn ice cream? Yuk! So I decided to keep it simple and go to Junior's Times Square. Besides, we were meeting up at 11:30p anyway and at least I know they were gonna be open that late.
This date was scheduled on a night when I had to work the next morning which is something rarely ever do. But we had vibed so well over the past few days and really I wanted to see him again so I bended one of my rules a little. In preparation for the date I took a little nap earlier that evening before I went out. I woke up at 10, put on my pre-laid out outfit and bounced out the door around 10:50. Of course I forgot that it was the weekend and that the trains were not only gonna take forever but that they would be running local. I texted Pubby from the train station telling him that I may be running a little late. I'm very good about that kinda stuff. Saturday was unseasonably cold and I didn't want him to have to wait a long time for me. He was cool with it and said that he was gonna be about 15 minutes late as well.
I actually ended up arriving to Times Square basically on time. I looked at my cell phone, it said 11:36. I texted Pubby to tell him. Here is our succession of text messages:
11:38p: A: "I just got off the train at Times Square..."
11:40p: P: "See u in a bit."
11:41p: A: "Aight, I'll be at 45th & Bdwy."
Figuring that he would be a little later than 11:45 I decided to pop into the Virgin Megastore and pick up Lil' Mo's latest CD "Pain And Paper". I was in there at most maybe 15 minutes.
11:47p: P: "Perfect."
11:58p: P: "I'm on my way."
11:58p: A: "Aight."
I settled at the southwest corner of 45th & Broadway. I watched Nicole Scherzinger's "Whatever U Like" video in silence on the huge MTV screen across the street to pass the time. Her and T.I. have really good chemistry together. Then I opened the Lil' Mo CD I just bought and read the liner notes, she thanked Jesus more than most gospel artists. This kid walked by that I met online and went to a party with once. He looked me right in my face but didn't recognize me. I didn't know him well enough to go and say "Hi" or nothin' and besides, it's never been that serious. Then this guy that looked a lot like Kevin Liles (VP of Warner Music) walked by me and made a left onto 45th street. Oh wait, it is Kevin Liles, I know those bags anywhere. Too bad he's such a pompous jerk. Did you see that episode of "Oprah" he was on? I wanted to smack him! The girl he was with was pretty though.
12:10a: A: "Where u @ now?"
Just standing in Times Square, in the unseasonable cold, wiping my
runny nose every few minutes. I thought about all of the first dates
I've met here. Times Square (or Forty Deuce as they call it where I
grew up in Brooklyn) has to be the most popular meeting place in the
city. Probably because, most of the trains go here and who doesn't know
where it is. This cold that is creeping up in my chest though is really
fucking up my stroll down memory lane. 'Where the fuck is Pubby?' I
thought, trying my best not to get upset. He said he'd only be 15 minutes late, it's already 25. I occupied myself by counting the hours of sleep I was losing by just being there. I coulda took a longer nap if I knew he was gonna be late like this.
12:15a: He calls me. When I heard his voice the frustration that was building up inside me started to wash away. I felt warm inside. He sounded so dayum good on the phone, but fuck that! I had to let this nigga know that this type of shyt is unacceptable. He apologized profusely for his tardiness and I never let the frustration leave my voice. He told me he was in a cab and on his way. I didn't even ask why his ass wasn't in a cab 30 minutes ago. See this is the shyt about dating that I hate.
12:28a: A: "Where are u?"
As my nose is till running and as I try not to get really pissed. I remind myself that he is in the cab and that there's probably traffic. This is New York.
12:28a: P: "42nd & 7th."
Okay he's a few blocks away. About 10 minutes later I look up to the north and see him come sauntering down Broadway toward me. I was mad at him but still happy to see him at the same time. He was so dayum fine, I couldn't stay mad at him for something like this if I tried. This is the only the first date so I calmed myself. He extended his arms to hug me:
"Sorry I'm late."
"It's okay... Actually no, it's not okay. You had me waiting out here mad long."
I said, asserting myself.
"I know babe, I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you."
You know exactly where my mind went. Shyt, fuck dessert. We can go straight back to my place and let the reparations begin. As we walked down the block toward Junior's I shook myself out of my fantasy.
Once we were seated we began to talk or rather playfully debate about life and music, which is one of my favorite subjects. We did all of this while looking dead into each other's eyes, not missing a syllable. I'm one of those people that looks people directly into their eyes when I talk to them. The eyes tell so much about a person. Even during our brief first meeting the other day it was Pubby's eyes that told me that he was attracted in me.
Originally, my idea for this date was for us to meet up at my place for dessert. I was gonna get some chocolate covered strawberries, whipped cream, ice cream, the works. Pubby texted me and told me that he was a "classicist" and that he was a little uncomfortable with our first date being at my place. I understand that because when you're at someone's house there is that underlying sexual vibe in the air. Even if there is no actual intention to have sex, probability is playing against you. I honestly wanted the date at my place because I knew I had to work the next day so that would have made things a bit easier for me, being at home. But being at Junior's was cool, I didn't love standing in the cold for an hour but I'm over that, I promise.
As time went on things began to get a little more cozy between us. The eye contact, the conversation. The grabbing of each other's legs every so often. As our conversation continued he took his leg and nestled it between my leg and the wall. Physical contact is always a good sign. I explained to him that my original proposal to do this at my place wasn't fueled by sex. I felt I needed to explain as this blog (which he visited prior to our date) seems to sometimes color people's view of how I am. You tell a few sex stories and people think you're the gay Wilt Chamberlain or something. He totally understood and inferred that it wasn't only me he was worried about. I was liking this dude even more.
We finally ordered, he had a warm brownie ala mode and I had the strawberry shortcake. We both had drinks and I was starting to feel mine. Y'all know I don't drink very often and it doesn't take much for me to get a little tipsy. As we continued vibing every so often he would get a phone call. But even those interruptions didn't disturb the groove we were in. We ended up closing out Junior's and after getting dirty looks from the staff we decided to leave but I really didn't want the night to end. By that time though it was after 1am and it was probably best for me to walk him to a cab and take my ass home.
I didn't know at the time but he actually didn't need a cab his friends were coming to pick him up. They were waiting outside, for a while according to one of his friends that's why he kept calling, in a car on 45th Street. I walked him to the car and prepared to say good night when he asked me whether I wanted to go to a club with them. I know I should have said no, as I had to wake up for work in about five and a half hours but I was having fun so I went.
Pubby's friend, the driver, we'll call him Alex is a socialite of sorts. I didn't know him personally but I'd always see him around. As you know I don't go out much but whenever I did go out he was one of the people I would usually see. He and two other people, one of which I actually know are people I would say "make a party." It's almost as though I haven't officially gone out unless I saw one of them. What was even funnier is that during the ride downtown Alex even said that "my face looked familiar."
Being in the car was cool. It gave Pubby and I a chance to get a little closer. Everything was going very well at that moment until I realized that we were going to a black club. Oh brother, I was mentally preparing myself to hear that dayum "Freakum Dress" song for the thirteen millionth time.
After circling and circling around Chelsea in search of a parking space we finally arrived to Secret. From what I heard this was the only black party going on that night and there was no cover. Needless to say, it was packed and the line was crazy. What's really crazy is that after all the websites I've done for the black clubs here in New York I should have known about this place but I'd never really heard of it before.
It was cold and none of us were interested in waiting on that line. Alex and Pubby got on their cell phones trying to contact their connects in the club in an effort to get us in. As we were standing in front of the club some friends of theirs came out and were saying that the party was "late" and that there a lot of young people in there. That's definitely to be expected at a free party. Basically they were saying that it wasn't even worth our time. Their major complaint was that all of the "A-list" people were outside the club while the inside was filled with "nots," people who weren't as popular and therefore didn't deserve to party or even live according to some.
So as we stood there they were talking to their friends as they badmouthed the party and ridiculed some of the younger and not so well put together patrons who were leaving the club. I over heard Pubby saying to another of the more popular scensters waiting outside:
"Don't they know that there's a caste system?"
Unfortunately there is a sort of caste system to the New York black gay scene. You've got your "haves", your "have nots" and even your "untouchables" and then there are those who have been touched way too much. Basically you're no one until someone talks about you. I'm not sure exactly where or even if I fit in somewhere on that scale. Luckily for me I don't give a flying fuck either way.
So we finally got in. Uh huh, niggas talked all that shyt but all they asses was eventually in that club. Squishing my way through the crowd all the reasons why I don't like the black clubs came rushing back to me. Look to the right, there's a guy that tried to talk to me online, look to the left there's another one. I did actually know a few people at this crowded ass party so I gave my salutations as I headed to the bar.
While waiting for his drink I stood behind Pubby as he lightly grinded his ass into me. I grabbed by his waist and did a few light touches and feels, that was cool. We made our way back to the dance floor in time for them to play Britney Spears "Gimme More (remix)" featuring T.I. When that beat dropped the whole club went off, everybody was dancing. I had been feening to hear that song in a club all weekend and I was tight that i didn't hear it when I was out with CancelCancel the night before. I stood on the floor as Pubby and Alex danced on top of a couch with drinks in their hands. It was a very Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie moment.
Soon after I went back to the bar and got myself a cranberry juice as Pubby and Alex made their rounds, being socialites. By that time we'd been at the club a little more than an hour and I was starting to get bored. See that's my issue with clubs, I don't understand how people can do this all night long. After about an hour, which is enough time to say all your "Hi's" and let all the kids see your face I'm ready to go. I was also ready to sit down. I sat on a leather couch in the back of club near the bathrooms. As I sat there on the couch pretty much ready to go this guy came up and tried to talk to me. He did the whole "Why you looking like that?" "What's your name?" spiel. This dude is trying to get my number and I'm supposed to be here on a date. In fact, where the fuck is my date?
I was ready to go. I circled the club looking for Pubby. I at least wanted to at least say goodbye before I left. I couldn't find him. In the midst of my search I did run into one of my good friends who was surprised to see me out at a club. I told him I was out with someone and I couldn't find them at the moment. He told me that I should circle the club one more time and if I didn't see him to bounce. I circled and didn't see Pubby.
As I was preparing to say goodbye via text message the lights came up. It was 4am and the party was over. I went outside and after glances to the right and the left, no Pubby. Right as I was about to push the 'send' button and stroll down the block there goes Pubby behind me. He was having a flirty conversation with some dude, probably an ex-date or something. Either way it's none of my business and jealousy has reared it's ugly head enough this weekend.
Pubby looks over at me, caught by surprise. I told him that I was ready to go as I couldn't find him for the past 45 minutes. It bothered me that the party was over he hadn't bothered looking for me in all that time. I didn't even get as much as a text. It would be easy to blame it on the alcohol but I wasn't gonna mentally brush this off that easily as I've been down this road before. Actually I used to live in a fuckin' condo on that road. This moment recalled some of the frustration I felt at the beginning of the night. I wasn't mad, but what I was was aware. I had concluded that Pubby though, intelligent, sexy, and fine, wasn't the most considerate person in the world.
We still all ended up leaving together though. Back in Alex's car Pubby and I were cuddled up again this time sharing our first kiss. It was nice. I felt a little electricity. He was cool, I like him and it was feeling really good to be close to him right then as Alex sped up 8th Avenue and then Central Park West with Lindsay Lohan and then Keyshia Cole blaring from the speakers. Yeah this was all nice but this evening's events are keeping me from getting too caught up. We'll see...
LINKS:
- Junior's Restaurants
==========
Playing In The Background...
"A Little More Personal"
by Lindsay Lohan
from the album "A Little More Personal (Raw)"
==========
Last night Mr. Man (my ex boyfriend who I'm all amicable with now) and I finally went to go see The Color Purple on Broadway. I know we're like the last two black people in the New York Metropolitan Area who haven't seen the show. We get there, we line up, we're going in, everything is fine until we're about 20 feet from the doors and they announce that Fantasia was not going to be in the show and that an understudy would be playing her role. A representative for the theatre said that she was in full hair and makeup and became ill about 10 minutes before show time. The admission line turned into the refund line because just about all of the 2,600 theatre goers that night wanted their money back! Some opted to reschedule for a later show but we decided to take the refund.
