The Theory Of Evolution. aka I Found Jesus. A Dating Update.

What a paradox, I'm a creationist that's steadily evolving. As you know I have been making changes in my life, namely learning to value myself when it comes to relationships and who I deal with and becoming less of a whore as chronicled by this blog. Letting out all of my fears, anger and frustration here has been more than therapeutic and I thank you all for all of your comments and emails. I've been super busy lately and on my grind lately as far as my writing is concerned so I figure it's about time for a dating update.

Mr. Man, my ex-boyfriend and I have been working together on some projects lately. It's actually been really good for our relationship. Even though we're all broken up I still love him and he loves me, but it's not in that weird we-can't-be-alone-together-without-ripping-each-other's-clothes-off kinda way or that equally weird every-time-we-see-each-other-we-have-to-stroll-down-memory-lane way either, oh, it's definitely over between us. Granted, we have our uncomfortable moments every now and then but our dynamic now is that of close friends, the way it should have always been, but I don't regret anything.

In other paradoxical news, I bought myself a Blackberry Curve on Wednesday before I left for Virginia for Thanksgiving and it is indeed the sexiest phone I've ever had, I can jerk off looking at this phone (iPhone who?). Anyway, I had to call T-Mobile to change my plan and I decided to add their Fave 5 program to my cell phone plan. Basically with this plan I would be able to talk to the five people I talk to the most for free. The customer service lady on the phone was telling me the numbers I call and receive calls from the most: number one, Mr. Man's cellphone, number two, Mr. Man's house phone, now ain't that some shit? As for as his thoughts on my saunter down Damascus Road and I quote:

"It's like since we broke up this ho found Jesus or something..."

CancelCancel and I have grown closer since he's been back in my life but not in the way you'd think. We've only had one romantic encounter and that was a month and a half ago. He works a few blocks away from me so sometimes we'll ride the train uptown together, but those meetings are non-romantic and rather tepid. Lately our conversations have shifted toward the other people he's been dating (I don't talk to him about who I'm dating. He reads it on the blog like everyone else.) and it has no adverse effect on me. It's almost unbelievable that this is the same guy I was ready to get into a fight over two months ago. It's kinda weird but, a lot of that romantic "zsa zsa zu" as Carrie Bradshaw would call it is gone. Our evolution though has been a subtle one. I didn't really catch on to it until we had text on Wednesday afternoon.

A: "U goin 2 the parade tomorrow?"

CC: "Yeah, this dude wants me to go but I might back out of it... me and my big mouth."

A: "LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL Y u no likey him... lol"

CC: "LOL I actually do like him but I didn't think he was gonna take me seriously..."

A: "Dayum CancelCancel, what have we evolved into?"

CC: "U mean u and me or just men in general?"

A: "Me and u, are we like just friends now?"

While most mere mortals would have just assumed that we were just friends now, given our recent actions. I'm a Leo. Leos must know exactly what's going on at all times, what their status is and what the limits are so that we can act accordingly.

CC: "Well, seeing [that] I'm much more comfortable with you, I think we should be friends. I know u don't see me romantically after all my frontin' and bullshittin' and I don't blame u. I also know you like the other guy a lot better than u like me soooo I stumbled on someone who I like just as much as he likes me. I really do value ur friendship and I like what we have now."

A: "We can be friends, that's fine... But why would u say I like somebody better than I like you?"

CC: "I don't know. I just get that vibe that ur way more interested in him than me and thats cool. I'd rather be friends with u and keep what we have and focus on this dude."

A: "Him? Who's him? At this point I'm not talkin' to nobody actually..."

I was being somewhat facetious, well with the first part. He's obviously talking about Pubby. As far as that second part, if he only knew... but we'll get to that in a moment.

CC: "The dude I'm seeing, don't wanna make the same mistakes with him that I did with u. What happened to the other guy?"

A: "Oh thanks, u fuck me over and NOW u wanna get it right w next dude. Ain't that some shit! ROFL"

Looks like I'm not the only one who found Jesus on Damascus Road. CancelCancel I would like to take this time to officially welcome you to Girlfriendville, population: you. It's a wonderful place, ask Friend #1 and Friend #2. And like Saul in the Bible who after he met Jesus on Damascus Road changed his name to Paul, I in turn must change CancelCancel's nickname. Seeing that he never liked being referred to as CancelCancel anyway I guess I'll change it to... ummm... ummmm... I got it! We'll call him: The Date Formerly Known As CancelCancel or TDFKA CancelCancel for short. I was gonna into Illustrator and design him a symbol but I decided against it.

Our friend, The Date Formerly Known As CancelCancel asked a good question: "What happened to the other guy?" I'm taking the large step of finally admitting to myself and you all today that more than likely nothing romantic will ever come of my relationship with Pubby. If anything we'll just be good friends. I've ripped the bandage off and exposed the wound to you all. Now I'm gonna put some Neosporin on that bitch and call it a day. I haven't had a romantic encounter with him in over a month and we hardly talk on the phone or text each other. Normally this would be the time I'd put on my Adidas runners and run a marathon after this dude but I've grown past that.

The best thing about all of this is that I'm totally okay with every thing and I wish all three of them the best. I guess now that I'm totally unattached from anyone mentally and emotionally I should give all those guys who hit me up on MySpace a second look. What I won't do though is look for a quick rebound thing. I'm taking my time with relationships now and I'm sure not gonna let it slow down my writing grind. I'm sure one day Mr. Right will come along until then it's Me and Jesus.

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Playing In The Background...
"I Found Myself"
by Ciara
from the album "The Evolution"
and
"I Found Someone"
by Natalie Wilson & the SOP Choral
from the album "Girl Director"
and
"Jesus Is All"
by Fred Hammond & Radical For Christ
from the album "Pages Of Life: Chapters 1 & 2"
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PS: If you're new to the blog and are confused as to who the people are that I'm talking about in theis post, be sure to check out the dating section to get caught up.