Whaddup Everybody,

Once again we're having another party tonight. If ur gonna be anywhere near NYC come check it out.

I'd love to meet you.

Here's the info:

If you thought my birthday party was something here comes...
THE NEW MONTHLY PARTY

You asked for it...

Maurice Runea, Dwight Allen O'Neal, DJ Likwuid & Adam Benjamin Irby present:
"NO SHADE"
THE LABOR DAY WEEKEND $10, FREE DRINK PARTY
FRIDAY, AUGUST 29TH, 2008 11P-4A

ADMISSION: $10
FREE DRINK GIVEN WITH ADMISSION
+ DRINK SPECIALS ALL NITE // DJ LIKWUID SPINNING THE BEST R&B, HIP-HOP, POP & REGGAE OF THE 90’S & 2000’S // 21 & OVER ID REQUIRED TO PARTY

TRAIN DIRECTIONS: A, C to Chambers Street // E to World Trade Center // J, M, Z to Chambers Street // R, W to City Hall // 1, 2, 3 to Chambers Street // 4, 5, 6 to Brooklyn Bridge/City Hall // PATH to World Trade Center

FOR MORE INFO AND DIRECTIONS EMAIL: INFO@ITSNOSHADE.COM
OR GO ONLINE TO: http://ITSNOSHADE.com

ON AUGUST 29th SHADE OFFICIALLY DIES...
AND YOU'RE INVITED TO DANCE ON IT'S GRAVE!

SEE YOU THERE!

PS: Apologies to the mailing list subscribers for the email that went out this morning. That was a glitch in the system and I don't know where that came from.

==========
Playing In The Background...
"Whatcha Think About That" feat Missy Elliott
by The Pussycat Dolls
from the album "Doll Domination"
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Posted by Adam Benjamin Irby at 01:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

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Pictures:
- Nyabel of the "Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency", Me, another lovely model, and Anya of "America's Next Top Model" cycle 10
- Isis Tsunami of the new season of "America's Next Top Model" (cycle 11) and Me. She is making history as the first trangendered contestant on the show.
- Claire (left) and Marvita (right) of cycle 10 of "America's Next Top Model" and Me in the middle of a top model sandwich.
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This past Saturday I attended GMHC's Latex Ball, the largest ball in New York and arguably the country. I volunteered at the door helping them hand out and collect surveys. You know how I do, always giving back.

Once my shift was over I went inside to watch the ball. I don't get out to balls much but the Latex Ball is the one you don't wanna miss. My best friend Mike Icon won the schoolboy realness category. While the legendary Mike Balenciaga was robbed in the face category.

During the course of the night there were a few celebrity appearances by D. Woods of Danity Kane, Teyana Taylor, and a few former contestants of "America's Next Top Model" namely Isis, who is making history as the first transgendered contestant on the show. Maybe you can't really tell from the picture but Isis is FLAWLESS. After talking to her, taking a picture with her and even hugging her I still couldn't tell that she was born a man. She's absolutely beautiful and so sweet. I wish her the best of luck. Be sure to tune in to watch Isis and the other models on the new season of "America's Next Top Model" in September.

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Playing In The Background...
"Models"
by Girls Aloud
from the album "Chemistry"
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Posted by Adam Benjamin Irby at 11:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Hey y'all,

I've received quite a few comments and emails about my blog post from a couple of days ago about the "Two Minute Bottom" and I thank you all for your interest in that. There was one response though that I feel I must address. Here it is:

Adam,

I found your blog while trying to pick the LBGT section (of the 2008 Black Web Log Awards). I'm voting for yours b/c it's truly interesting and entertaining. However, one thing you said caught my eye in this post... the wet spot.

I hope you were talking tongue in cheek and not being literal. If otherwise, please practice safe sex consistently and use a condom. I lost my best friend many years ago and I'd hate for that to happen to you.

You don't need to post this, it's just a personal message for you.

Take care and hugs.
-Concerned New Reader

Hey Concerned New Reader,

First of all thanks for your vote for me for the Black Web Log Awards, that means SOOOO much to me. Even though you said I didn't need to post this I decided to anyway because you brought up such an important point.

As you all know I write quite a bit about my sex life. At times I've been known to have been quite descriptive, talking about when and where and how and what position and how it felt and what he did and what I did, etc. Thinking back on some of my posts I realized that in the retelling of all of my sex-capades I tend to gloss over one important detail. Most of the time I fail to mention my use of condoms and to the six of you who I haven't already fucked (LOL that's a joke, there's really about thirty of you who I haven't already fucked... yet! LOL) you'd think that I don't use condoms. Well, my friends that's far from the truth. I'm a big advocate for condom use. That's half the reason why I'm able to last so long to have all these bottoms cumming the way I do. Y'all ain't think I was doing that shit raw, did you? In fact it's scary to me if a bottom comes to me with the idea of raw sex, especially if I'm not in a relationship with or don't know the person like that.

This reminds me of a conversation I had with Will Kane, who is the author of a black gay erotica book, entitled Forbidden Fruit: Psalms Of A Black Master (if y'all think I'm descriptive, this blog is Highlights for Children compared to his books). Will talked about how sometimes he mentions condom use in his book and how sometimes he doesn't and how it could potentially take away from the passion of the story. And I guess he's right. His books are about exploring sexual fantasy and condoms unfortunately are very much a sobering reality. Now I'm thinking about why I never incorporated my condom use into the stories I tell which are indeed my reality.

I guess it's because for me it's a given. Putting on a condom to me is just as natural to sex as taking your clothes off or unbuttoning your fly. If I tell a story and I go from me and I guy kissing at the front door to me long stroking him in his bed you'll assume that somewhere along the way we got naked. I guess I kinda feel the same way about condoms. As hot as all my experiences have been they all contain that awkward 45 seconds where I must ask "So what you wanna do?" or "Do you wanna feel this?" or "Do you want me to put it in?" No matter how or how much I ask the question it never ceases to be uncomfortable. Once I get an affirmative response, if I get an affirmative response, we lube up, I strap on a condom and we go off into ecstasy.

So kids please don't think I don't use condoms because I do and you should too. EVERY TIME. Lord knows I'm not perfect and there have been mishaps, but most of that shit was in the past. It's crazy to believe that in 2008 there are homos out here consistently and purposely not wrapping it up, but unfortunately there are. There's not even a valid excuse not to use a condom, especially here in New York City, the city gives them away. Not only at health centers but at gay and straight bars and restaurants. And for you Magnum users there are even organizations giving those away now, that's how I get mine. ;) So wrap it up kids!

As far as "the wet spot" is concerned. The wet spot or a series of wet spots for me can be obtained in many ways, none having to do with unsafe sex. For example: If I'm fucking from behind and the dude cums onto my sheets while on his knees or laying on his stomach, there's a wet spot. If there's sweat generated during the sex, there's a wet spot. If I rip off the condom before I cum and shoot all over him and in the process hit my pillows, the headboard and the wall behind us, or if he's on his back and cums like that, there are wet spots everywhere. All of which are hot during sex but become super gross after you cum and are to be avoided at all costs.

Thank you so much again for your vote Concerned New Reader and your concern and I hope this calms your fears.

-Adam Benjamin Irby

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Playing In The Background...
"Exclusively"
by Jill Scott
from the album "Words And Sounds, Volume 1"
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Posted by Adam Benjamin Irby at 11:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

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Pictures:
- The peacock (the male with the big feathers) and the peahen (the female).
- The lion (the male with the mane) and the lioness (the female without the mane)
- Another lion and lioness gettin' it in safari style. You see him tearin' that shit up while whispering some 'ol nasty shit in her ear. He learned that shit from me. LOL I'm a Leo so y'all know I love lions. LOL
==========

Yes, there's a reason for all of this Wild Kingdom shit I'm posting. And before we start, this post is no offense to my female readers, y'all hold me down and y'all know I love y'all. We just finna have a discussion.

I was talking to a photographer yesterday and he said something quite interesting to me. He said that "men are naturally more beautiful than women". I thought to myself, 'Huh?'. I mean, that's crazy, this some ol' gay faggot foolisnhess. Girls are beautiful, they have hair and makeup and clothes and shoes and jewelry. Even in fashion, the female runway shows are always more interesting than that male shows.

He went on to say that that was why. He said that women need more to be beautiful, most women need the hair, the makeup, the clothes, just to look decent half the time. Think about your favorite female celebrities, think about the pictures you see of them with no makeup on on the covers of tabloids and how we cringe at how horrible they look un-made up, yet we see fine ass men on the street everyday with jeans and a t-shirt and not a stitch of makeup. He even mentioned that when he does photo shoots it's the women that need all the makeup and styling in the world while all most men can come in killing it with no more than a fresh shave.

He explained that even in nature the male of the species is always more beautiful than the female, like in terms of the peacock and peahen. The peacock, the male, is the one with the big beautiful feathers, while the peahen, the female doesn't have those feathers. I didn't even realize that only the male had the feathers, but I guess it makes sense, the "cock" in peacock signifies that it is a male bird. Even in the case of the lion, the male lion is the one with the beautiful mane as the lioness doesn't have one. Damn, he brought up some interesting points. I never really thought about this before.

Presumably all of this natural male beauty is supposed to be to attract the female but in some cases it has attracted us to each other. Is this why I'm gay?

What do y'all think about this?

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Playing In The Background...
"Ur So Gay"
by Katy Perry
from the album "One Of The Boys"
==========

Posted by Adam Benjamin Irby at 09:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (9) | TrackBacks (0)

A common complaint from bottoms and even straight women about having sex with a man is that sometimes a lot of men seem to cum too fast during sex, leaving them unsatisfied and over it. Lately I've been noticing that this issue has been manifesting itself in my sex life as well, but in my case it's the other way around. If something happens to me once, it's a fluke, twice, it's a coincidence, three times, it's a phenomenon. Ladies and gentlemen and all others in between I introduce to you, the two minute bottom.

Unlike a lot of tops I've heard of, I'm totally into pleasing my bottom. I get off on their pleasure. More often than not, about eighty-five, ninety percent of the time, when I'm fucking the bottom always cums first. In fact with one of my exes I used to make him cum first EVERY TIME we had sex. When people ask me why I'm so selfless in the bedroom I explain to them my reasoning for it, which in some ways can actually seem kinda selfish.

Number one: Like I said before, I totally get off on the moans, and the yells, and even the screams of my partner and if you've got somebody moaning, yelling and screaming long enough, they're gonna cum.

Number two: If we're fucking and I make you cum first I then don't have to worry about you when I'm ready to cum. Because when I cum I'mma wanna go to sleep or at least rest for a little bit. I'm not gonna wanna turn over and lick your nipples or jerk you off or play with your ass, whatever you need to make you cum. After all that hard work, heaving and pumping, tryna fuck you a nigro is tired. If I can get you taken care of all I gotta do for me is jerk off a little. it's not like I wasn't close and just holding out on my shit for you anyway so a couple of strokes and I'm done too and now we can both rest and avoid the wet spot until our lazy asses are ready take a shower.

Number three: Nothing makes you feel more like the mothafuckin' man than to make your shawty cum so hard his legs are shaking.

Number four: If you can master one, two, and three you can always keep him coming back for more. Do you know how many people I've messed around with in the past still want me to fuck them regardless of the fact that we're not together anymore and don't hardly speak? it's crazy.

I just totally went off subject there. Anyway, ummm yeah so if I ever get the chance to fuck you I'm gonna try my very best to make you cum first. The only downside to this is that lately it seems that I've been making them cum a little too quick. And you know once that bottom cums any fucking after that is a wrap. That hole tightens up and my once oh-so-pleasurable dick starts to feel like a hot cactus and its time to pull out.

There was this guy, lets call him Jackson. Jackson and I carried on an illicit affair a while back. He had someone and I had someone. I know, I know, it's horrible and terrible, we were cheating on our boyfriends, yes it was wrong, but fortunately this thread isn't about cheating on boyfriends so we can get back to that later. So I'm at Jackson's place, we're messing around and then his body just starts shaking.

"What happened?"

"I just came..."

"But I didn't even put my dick in yet..."

He wasn't even jerking off or nothing, it was the strangest thing. I should have been a little tight about that because I really did wanna fuck that day but I took solace in the fact that I must have been the mothafuckin' man. I made the nigga nutt and I hardly touched him.

There was this other guy, lets call him Daniel. Daniel was I guess was what you'd consider a vers-top. I had my reservations but he wanted me to fuck him. He said he hadn't taken dick in a long time and that something about me just wanted to make him do it. He was fine too, so I agreed to fuck him. After some foreplay, him sucking my dick, me eating his ass, some bump and grind, etc., he laid on his back while I slid it in real slow. He was kinda tight but taking it okay, well actually better than okay. As I went in deeper and deeper he started to get real excited, moaning and shit and then he grabbed for his dick. As I'm just getting all the way in, hitting rock bottom and pulling back to stroke he came. Kinda hoping that maybe even though he came he could take a little more dick I reluctantly asked:

"You want me to take it out?"

"Yeah"

He answered with his face all screwed up, cactus syndrome had already sat in. So i slowly pulled out, flung the condom to the floor laid back and stroked my cactus until I came. I ain't gon lie, this time I was a little tight. Being inside him was feeling all good and then it's suddenly snatched away. Damn! Damn, me and this good dick!

Finally there was Ralph. Me and Ralph had tried to have sex before but I just was not fitting in. Ralph, who was also not used to taking dick, was tight, tighter than a baby tee on Dolly Parton, just tight. After not seeing each other for a while I chilled again with Ralph. I could tell from when I was eating him out that Ralphie was a little more open than before, not too much, but a little more. He says that I'm the only one who's ever been close to being inside him. I didn't believe that shit but all that mattered was that I was there right then about to hit it.

I tried to enter him from behind and it wasn't really working. So then he laid on his back and I tried it that way. Finally after all this time I was getting in. As I slid in deeper he began to moan and grab for his dick, just then I flung his hand away from it as I tried to slip in deeper. As soon as I got back into concentrating on what I was doing I felt his body shaking and it was a wrap. He came. I only got half of my dick inside and he came. What the fuck?

Now I was heated. I tried my best to stay cool, I mean, I know it wasn't his fault, he couldn't help it, but it wasn't working. The aggravation in my face must have started to show. I pulled out, flung the condom and laid on my back, jerking my dick begrudgingly until I came. After a few minutes I got over my unsatisfaction and at the end of the day I was glad to have satisfied him and I know I pretty much insured that I was gonna be able to hit it again but damn. Now I know how my female readers feel.

==========
Playing In The Background...
"One Minute Man (video version)" feat. Ludacris and Trina
Missy Elliott
from the album "Miss E... So Addictive"
==========

PS: This is totally sidebar, but you bottoms out there who don't cum or don't think it's necessary to cum during or as a result of sex, what's with that? I don't get it. Y'all need to enjoy sex too dammit!

Posted by Adam Benjamin Irby at 11:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (11) | TrackBacks (0)

THANKS TO YOU I HAVE BEEN NOMINATED FOR A 2008 BLACK WEB LOG AWARD FOR "BEST LGBT BLOG"!!!

Now there's only one more thing you gotta do for me to bring home the win!

I didn't win last year, but I know we can do it this year!

All I need is about 60 seconds of your day for you to vote for me so I can win a Black Weblog Award. I'm up against two other blogs and whoever gets the most votes wins.

It is done in 4 easy steps:

1. Go to this address:

And then press the "Submit Your Ballot" button. Thats it.

I would appreciate it so much.

Thanks In Advance.
Adam

Feel free to leave me a comment once you've done it if you'd like.

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Song Of The Day:
"I Nominate U"
by Fantasia
from the album "Fantasia"
==========

And just as a note to the BWA judges. Even though my blog address is shown in the pictures it is for illustration purposes only. I did not actually cast a vote for my own blog. I realize that that will lead to disqualification. Instead my real vote was for another blog.

Posted by Adam Benjamin Irby at 05:15 AM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

There was this time where I met this guy, lets call him Lawrence. Me and Lawrence initially met on the internet and when we decided to meet in person and we met at a local lounge. I brought friends with me and so did he. After I walked in and we recognized each other I sat over by where him and his friends were. He was fine as hell, better looking than his pictures and he was feeling me too. The conversation was going good and there was definitely some chemistry. He then introduced me to his friends and as I went around shaking hands, exchanging warm smiles, trying to remember names one friend's smile was a little too warm. He looked into my eyes with a lust so hot it made the room warm. During our few second exchange he looked me dead in my eyes and never averted his stare. All of this while I was right next to Lawrence. The worst thing about it was that he was fine too. He was sexy, they were both sexy. Damn, what's a nigga to do?

As the night went on any time I looked in the friend's direction there was that same lustful stare. It got to the point where I avoided eye contact with him, but even then I could feel his gaze burning the side of my face. I'm trying to do the right thing, why is he making it so hard? The crazy thing about it is that Lawrence seems like the type that likes me and would wanna take things slow with me. His friend however seemed like he'd wanna get to know me eventually, like after I fucked the hell out of him, which is cool too, y'all know I like that kinda shit. But I remained a good boy. Eventually the friend walked away from us during the course of the night. As he sashayed toward the dance floor I could see the way his pants sagged to perfectly hug that phat ass of his. Damn.

I remained cool and continued to talk to Lawrence, who is still fine and sexy as hell, just not as flirtatious and overt. Even though overt can be such a turn on. I looked at it this way, right is right and fair is fair. I did come out to meet Lawrence so I know it'd be fucked up of me to try to holla at his friend on some sneak shit. Though Lawrence and I weren't married or nothing I at least owed him the respect of not talking to his boy. Damn I wish they didn't know each other or would have at least came separately so I could find a way to make trying to holla at the friend okay. But alas it is not. A year or two ago I woulda said fuck it and got the friend to the side and got them digits and wrote a blog post about how amazing the first date sex was, but I've grown since then, fucking growth. So I went home that night and masturbated about it and continued to court Lawrence. It was the right thing to do. But every so often an evil thought about fucking his friend crossed my mind, but I pushed them away. Life's all about choices people. But I know that sex probably woulda been off the hook. Damn, dayum, DAMN!

==========
Playing In The Background...
"Take Me On The Floor"
by The Veronicas
from the album "Hook Me Up"
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Posted by Adam Benjamin Irby at 10:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

Hey Y'all,

Check me out on the YouTube series "Vantage Point". This interview took place a little while ago and some parts will probably seem outdated now but it's still fun and worth a view.

See all the episodes of "Vantage Point" on The And Show You Tube Channel.

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Playing In The Background...
"Ur So Gay"
by Katy Perry
from the album "One Of The Boys"
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Posted by Adam Benjamin Irby at 01:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Due to the overwhelming success of my birthday party and all the questions I've been getting about when we are going to do it again, my business partners and I have decided to do just that. We're doing it again, and again, and again with the launch of our monthly party enterprise entitled "No Shade".

The purpose of "No Shade" is to provide a non-pretentious, laid back, extended family atmosphere where people can feel comfortable dancing, socializing, talking and meeting each other. "No Shade" is the party where everyone may not know your name but we'll try our best to learn it by the end of the night. We've all heard the club horror stories, unfriendly, unprofessional service, shade at the door, names mysteriously lost from guest lists, etc. These are things that won't occur at a "No Shade" function. We believe that everybody is somebody and everyone matters. I mean, hey, if you don't leave a party feeling better than when you came in, then what's the point? No shade.

Our next function is on Friday, August 29th, Labor Day Weekend and I hope to see you there. This is a new plateau in my life and I'd love it if you were there to celebrate that with me, ESPECIALLY IF YOU MISSED MY B-DAY PARTY! For those who attended my birthday party I promise you that this function will be a little less hectic, but just as much fun.

The info for the next party is below:

Maurice Runea, Dwight Allen O'Neal, DJ Likwuid & Adam Benjamin Irby present:
"NO SHADE"
THE LABOR DAY WEEKEND $10, FREE DRINK PARTY
FRIDAY, AUGUST 29TH, 2008 11P-4A

@ MOCCA LOUNGE
76 READE STREET @ CHURCH STREET
TRIBECA, DOWNTOWN MANHATTAN, NYC
One block north of Chambers Street

ADMISSION: $10
FREE DRINK GIVEN WITH ADMISSION
+ DRINK SPECIALS ALL NITE // DJ LIKWUID SPINNING THE BEST R&B, HIP-HOP, POP & REGGAE OF THE 90’S & 2000’S // 21 & OVER ID REQUIRED TO PARTY

TRAIN DIRECTIONS: A, C to Chambers Street // E to World Trade Center // J, M, Z to Chambers Street // R, W to City Hall // 1, 2, 3 to Chambers Street // 4, 5, 6 to Brooklyn Bridge/City Hall // PATH to World Trade Center

FOR MORE INFO AND DIRECTIONS EMAIL: INFO@ITSNOSHADE.COM
OR GO ONLINE TO: http://ITSNOSHADE.com

ON AUGUST 29th SHADE OFFICIALLY DIES...
AND YOU'RE INVITED TO DANCE ON IT'S GRAVE!

FOR EVEN MORE INFO, CHECK OUT OUR WEBSITE: ITSNOSHADE.com

Type in your email address below to sign up for the "NO SHADE" email list and get the latest info on upcoming events.

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Playing In The Background...
"Let Your Hair Down"
by 702
from the album "Star"
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Posted by Adam Benjamin Irby at 09:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

This Friday night, August 15th, 2008 I'm gonna be hosting the birthday bash for fine artist, photographer, party promoter and my good friend, Mr. Ricky Day (of the Men Are From Mars crew). It's gonna be at The Plumm nightclub. I want everyone to come on out. I've never done anything like this before but I'm excited and it's definitely gonna be a blast.

Check out Ricky Day's work online at: http://rickyday.net

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Playing In The Background...
"Mercy"
by Duffy
from the album "Rockferry"
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Posted by Adam Benjamin Irby at 09:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

This is a photoshoot I just did last night with my photographer/friend Ricky Day. These pictures are for the flyer for a new party series me and my business partners are starting here in New York entitled "No Shade" on Friday, August 29th. I'll talk more about the party in my next post, but for now you can get more info at the party's official website: http://itsnoshade.com.

Granted, this isn't the most interesting photoshoot I've ever done but it's still one of my favorites. What kills me are the people who hit me up and say I should be a model. If they only knew how awkward and uncomfortable I get in front of the camera. Ricky is quite patient with me. it take six million shots to get something decent out of me. LOL But I'm getting better.

Check out the pics:

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Playing In The Background...
"Goodbye To You"
by The Veronicas
from the album "Hook Me Up"
==========

Posted by Adam Benjamin Irby at 05:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

Saturday, I sojourned to one of my favorite places in the world, Fire Island to participate in Fire Island Blackout, an annual gathering of people of color on the otherwise colorless island. Fire Island is a barrier island of the southern coast of Long Island maybe 50 or so miles east of New York City. For years it has been known as a hot gay getaway which can be evidenced by it's many gay owned businesses and gay themed events every summer. As a young gay man it's good to see all of the older gay couples owning vacation homes and businesses on the island, foreshadowing what my life could be like in the years ahead.

Unlike last year I kept things strictly PG. Strolling up and down the beach talking to people and meeting friends. There were even some paparazzi-like pictures taken of me, the same thing happened last year, it's no less weird though. I wonder what those people plan to do with those pictures. They may end up on someone else's blog I guess.

Check out my pics:

If you've never been to Fire Island Blackout I suggest that you go.
Click here for more information.

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Playing In The Background...
"Straightjacket"
by Alanis Morissette
from the album "Flavors Of Entanglement"
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Posted by Adam Benjamin Irby at 03:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

You know, I started this blog a year and a half ago and as it started to become popular and yo ass, and your friend, and that other chile started reading it, I started to get some really hateful mail from people, condemning me, calling me a slut, calling me a ho, I had multiple posts written about me on "What's Tea" (that's when you know you've arrived, by the way), others have said stuff like "Who does this late queen think she is? She ain't nothin' but a fake ass Derrick L. Briggs!" Yeah, I know you bitches said it and for a second back then I used to let it bother me. I used to go off and read the kids, I used to straight up battle up in here, tit for tat, word for fierce word. But after a while I wised up and learned that the most fierce thing to do to a hater is just to pay they ass no mind, because as long as you're doing something, anything, eating an apple, riding a bike, sharpening a pencil, writing a blog, there's always gonna be someone who will find a problem with it and will hate on you because of it. Once I stopped paying the haters no mind, the hate all but stopped. I figure it's a mixture of that and the kids just getting used to my black ass. I guess once they figured my ass wasn't goin' nowhere they decided to get together and pick on someone new.

So, earlier this evening I'm on BGC minding my own damn business when I get a message from this guy. As I write this it's Thursday evening, (Friday, by the time y'all are reading this) so let's call him Thursday. Remember these are exact quotes so some spellings and punctuations may be off or downright crazy:

Thursday: "hey whats up? Remember me from the beach?? prolly not.. but whats good. I recognized the floral shorts from the main pic LOL"

** Sidebar: I went to the Black Pride celebration at Riis Beach this past Sunday and no I didn't remember him (no shade)**

Adam: "hey, how r u?"

Thursday: "im good. i just visited your blog you seem like a pretty semi intelligent stand up down to earth kind a guy. im sure its so major flaw hidden way deep down in the matrix. but none the less I just wanted to bid you a hello and see whats was really good."

Adam: "damn, "semi-intelligent" Why aren't I like, actually intelligent?"

Thursday: "i just feel like i have to label you as semi intelligent bcuz you seem to be known as a gay socialite and from the two times your name slipped from the lips not everything that was mentioned about u was applaud worthy. I know im suppose to waive "hi haters" But i have to acknowledge that you made some bad decision perhaps. Squeeky clean reputations acquire bonus points, and for u not so much have been awarded. "

Adam: "We've all done things and have pasts none of us are squeaky clean. I just decided to be real about mine and have managed to inspire some people along the way. As for those who don't like me, and talk about me I think it's great. If I weren't talked about or hated, then I'd worry."

Thursday: "contrary to popular both sides of the spectrum are completely debatable i tend to lean running opposite of the crowd instead of with, i boast on being different maybe im naiive but i think squeaky clean exist. It about thinking and considering the consequence before acting. You are supposed to look before your leap and thats what makes me different. Having a past a beautiful thing, prasing yourself for making hebetudinous mistake is what i have a problem with, along with lacking the ambition to not repeat the same stupid mistakes."

Adam: "Well, if you're gonna this deep you can't talk in riddles. My statement was general. In order to effectively carry on your argument I would have to know what was said about me (which I hope you've considered may not even be true) that you have deemed as "stupid" and "mistakes", both of which are judgments and is relative depending on the person and the situation. So if you aren't prepared to do that then there's really nothing more that you can say to me. So if it pleases you to continue to believe an uninformed opinion of me based on gossip and hearsay be my guest. As for me I'll let people talk and continue to live my life."

Thursday: "so, im not certain if our conversation is on "pause" or if its offically over however I hope that i have offerd you some type of engaging conversation outside of the normal BGC chit chat you have probably grown accustomed to. For future reference its best not to metion thing like "we all done things" as to label that as being acceptable. U are are too cute and too semi intelligent to blend in with the crowd, do something different, i mean really different. If you inspire people so much im sure they probably think its ok to maybe dabble into some bad activites as ground that they can eventually recovery from it. Certain things just arent OK no matter how many people do it. I hope to talk to you soon. "

Then he added me as a friend.

I don't have much else to say on this situation. I feel as though I've said all I had to say. I have to say that as much as I know I shouldn't, I do kinda wonder though what the hell these bitches were saying about me? What have I supposedly "dabbled" in? What "wasn't OK no matter how many people did it?" I never messed with any drugs, well I smoked weed a few times and didn't like it, but that's it. I mean, there's sex, but we've all had sex. I'm not angry or anything, I mean yeah, people are always gonna talk, I get that, I just didn't expect all that right then. He blindsided me. Truly, at the end of the day, I know that whatever he was told about me doesn't really matter. I know what I am and what I've done and that's what's really important. So, what do y'all make of this? Y'all famous for seeing shit that I don't see.

Leave me some comments y'all...

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Playing In The Background...
"Talk About Me" feat. Bobby Brown
by Chico Debarge
from the album "The Game"
and
"Hi Hater"
by Maino
from the album "Hi Hater LP"
==========

Posted by Adam Benjamin Irby at 06:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (14) | TrackBacks (0)

I want to sincerely thank everyone who called, emailed, commented and texted me, concerned about my injured toe (read about that in this blog post). If you're just tuning in, a few weeks ago I dropped one of my weights on my toe and it ended up ripping half of the skin and the nail off of it. It was really bloody and nasty, but surprisingly, not as painful as you'd think though.

Well, after limping my way around for the past couple of weeks, even at my birthday party, I'm glad to announce that the pain is gone, the scab has fallen off and underneath there's brand new skin and it's the same color brown as the rest of my foot. I even think that the nail is gonna grow back. All of this with no professional medical assistance. I guess that Neosporin really does work.

Thanks again for all your well wishes,
-Adam

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Playing In The Background...
"Disturbia"
by Rihanna
from the album "Good Girl Gone Bad (Reloaded)"
==========

Posted by Adam Benjamin Irby at 05:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

I'm sure you've all heard that NY Black Pride aka Pride In The City was for all intents and purposes canceled this year due to all kinds of drama that I don't even care to get into (read about that on the other blogs). Nevertheless, the kids still had the first weekend of August circled in hot pink on their calendars and even with the loss of structure that a backing organization brings to this sort of thing it certainly wasn't enough to stop anyone from having a good time.

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Playing In The Background...
"I'll Be Lovin' You Long Time"
by Mariah Carey
from the album "E-MC2"
==========

Posted by Adam Benjamin Irby at 04:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

I wrote this blog post not to long ago about how it seems that lately all the guys that rejected me and played me seemed to all be crawling back all of a sudden. Well, like everything else in life this theory works both ways.

I met this guy online two years ago around Christmastime, let's call him Thomas. He was fine as hell, my type too, petite, pretty face, slim body and a phat ass. He even let me beat on the first date (which unlike a lot of guys is something I like and makes me want the dude more, especially if I'm into him). Things seemed to be perfect, until he told me that he was only in New York for a few weeks and was going back to school. I tried to squeeze in as much time as I could with him while he was here but he kept breaking dates. I HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE THAT! I liked him but at that point I became disinterested and as the time loomed for him to go back to school and I knew much better than to try to even attempt a long distance relationship even though that seemed like what he wanted to do. So like a true faggot I just stopped calling him and I stopped answering his many phone calls.

That next summer, school was out again and I'd see him around the neighborhood. He was still fine as hell and as much as I wanted to talk to him I avoided him like the plague. Whenever I saw him coming toward me I'd look away or if I saw him walking in front of me I'd slow my pace down as not to pass him. After seeing him again I felt really foolish about what I'd done, but I guess not foolish enough to stop being a pussy and go up to him to rectify things. I was in a relationship at that time so it wasn't even about trying to get back with him, but I knew in my heart of hearts that I needed to apologize, especially since I hate it so much when dudes do that kinda shit to me. The better part of me knew that that was the right thing to do but I let the worst part of me rationalize my way out of it. I mean like, what if he would he would have gotten mad or even worse didn't even remember me anymore? So I remained a coward all that summer.

Fast forward to a few months ago. I saw him at an out-of-town even I attended with friends. It was one of those meetings where you're walking, talking looking in one direction and your friend says "Hey, Adam this is so-and-so..." and without having time to brace yourself, you look over and there he is, was, Thomas. Awkward pause, detached half hug, awkward salutations exchanged and then you move on. During the course of that day and due to the fact that we were trapped at the same event we exchanged a few more words. I braced myself for the question of "Adam, why did you stop calling me?" as though it were the French Revolution and I was waiting for the ax to fall. My fear wasn't so much the question, but that I, the blogger, the writer, the person who always has something to say would have absolutely nothing to say to answer this question. It was stupid, there was no reason for me to just up and stop calling him the way I did. I could have just been a man and told him how I felt. And now he looks good, really good and he's probably not even at that school anymore and maybe if I'd played my cards right we could have rekindled something. I was horny as hell that weekend too and I surely wouldn't have minded him kindling my log.

Fast forward to Sunday, June 29th, 2008, NYC Pride. I ran into Thomas on the corner of West 4th Street & 6th Avenue right by Washington Mutual Bank. Thomas was on his phone. I scribbled my phone number on one of my birthday flyers we were passing out that night and motioned for him to call me as I continued up the street. 'Dammit! I shoulda got his number!' I thought as I walked away. A part of me wanted to go back down the block but then I would have looked real stupid and thirsty so I went on.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago. One night as I was on my way downtown to do some promotion at a club for my birthday party I ran into Thomas on the subway platform. We exchanged salutations and a few moments of small talk as the train approached the station. Unfortunately, we'd only be riding this train together one stop so I didn't really see it befitting to give my sorrowful apology right then. Before he got off the train I got his number but it didn't mean too much because he had just lost his phone. Damn.

That next week I was walking up the street approaching a club where I was going to do some more promotion that night when right outside I run into Thomas. He was talking on a cell phone which I later found out wasn't his, he was just borrowing it for the evening. The conversation seemed serious, like a family matter or something. He acknowledged my presence as he stood there talking on the phone in one ear and his finger in another. So I walked away from him, going to converse with friends. A few minutes later I looked over in his direction and he was gone.

Later that night inside the club. I looked over to the bar at one of the go-go boys. He had a slim, petite, bangin' ass body covered by only on a white jock strap that hugged his ass just right. I wouldn't usually be into jock straps as they remind me of bad 70's black and white porno movies but it worked for him. I was getting hypnotized as he shook, grinded, and writhed to the music. The go-go boy turned around and I saw that it was Thomas. Oh shit. I didn't see him again for the rest of the night.

To be continued...

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Playing In The Background...
"If I Could"
by Dru Hill
from the album "Dru World Order"
==========

Posted by Adam Benjamin Irby at 04:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

It's that time of year again. The Black Weblog Award nominations are here again and I need you all my lovely reading public to do your thing once again.

Thanks to you, last year I was nominated for "Best New Blog" and "Best LGBT Blog".

This year I wanna win!

All I need is about 60 seconds of your day for you to nominate me for a Black Weblog Award. The more of you that nominate me, the more likely I'll be selected.

It is done in 4 easy steps:

1. Go to this address:

And then press the "Submit Your Ballot" button, thats it.

I would appreciate it so much.

Thanks In Advance.
Adam

Feel free to leave me a comment once you've done it if you'd like.

==========
Song Of The Day:
"I Nominate U"
by Fantasia
from the album "Fantasia"
==========

And just as a note to the BWA judges. Even though my blog address is shown in the pictures it is for illustration purposes only. I did not actually cast a vote for my own blog. I realize that that will lead to disqualification. Instead my real vote was for another blog.

Posted by Adam Benjamin Irby at 07:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

I love this song! It's amazing to have so much talent around you that you never even realize. Baron. is someone who contacted me last year regarding building a website for him. Since then I've socialized with him at different events and functions all around the city. I've always known that he was a musician but I've never really listened to his music until now. The other day I was shown the new "Christopher Street TV" trailer and like everyone who saw it after me I asked "What's that song playing in the background? That's hot." I was told that it was Baron's song "Feel Like Fashion". For my birthday Baron. came to my party and gave me his CD and since then I've been hooked to his dark electronic grooves.

Below I've uploaded the infamous "Feel Like Fashion." Listen as Baron. drops designer labels a mile a minute over danceable beats. I'm sooo having this played at my next party.

Baron. "Feel Like Fashion"

For more info about Baron. check his website: ArtistBaron.com
Also check out his MySpace.
You can buy "Celebrity" here.

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Playing In The Background...
"Feel Like Fashion"
by Baron.
from the album "Celebrity"
==========

Baron. doesn't know I wrote this. Now he owes me a pair of skinny jeans! LOL

Posted by Adam Benjamin Irby at 05:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Hey Y'all,

Check out my good friend Dwight Allen O'Neal's show "Christopher Street: The Series" which stars my other good friend and blog reader Jared DeWese.

Here's the trailer:

For more info check out ChristopherStreetTV.com

That hot ass song playing in the background that everybody's been talking about is "Feels Like Fashion" by another friend of mine, Baron from his latest album "Celebrity".

Check out more of his music at ArtistBaron.com

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Playing In The Background...
"Feel Like Fashion"
by Baron.
from the album "Celebrity"
==========

Posted by Adam Benjamin Irby at 04:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)