Dating: September 2007 Archives

I'm the first person to say that I'm no relationship expert, most things I have learned about life and relationships I've learned through trial and error. I'm nobody's psychologist and I hardly ever give anybody advice. But there is one thing I can advise on as it has been proven time and time again in my life, so much so that I have made adopted it as my overall relationship theory.

Adam's Theory:
"If a man really wants to do something he will do it. Period."

Sounds simple doesn't it? So then why the hell don't we ever remember it when we're involved with someone? Let's take our friend CancelCancel. As you have read (and if you haven't read, read it here) he canceled twice on me before our first date. We eventually went out we had a good time and then we went out again (read about that here). But all during the time we were dating I felt like I wanted it more than he did. I was always the one doing most of the calling and I was always initiating our dates and meetings while he remained somewhat indifferent about the whole thing, canceling, postponing, changing dates and "we'll see-ing" and "iono-ing" me to death. I told him how I felt, yet no changes. So in an effort not to jump to any conclusions regarding his feelings or lack thereof I decided to test things out. I stepped back, I stopped calling and I texted him my availability leaving it up to him to make the next date. I got one call and during that call I didn't even mention that the day had past that I was available for the date. I left it all up to him. If he wanted to see me he was gonna have to put forth some kind of effort, just as I did. After all I've been through I refuse to run after another man.

On Thursday I got this text message from him:

CancelCancel: "Have I done something wrong? If I have then let me know. You haven't been talking to me lately sooo I just wanna know what's happening between us so that way we can avoid a serious let down."

Dude you've gotta be kidding me. "I haven't been talking to you..." You mean I stopped running after yo' ass. Dudes act like they don't know to pick up a dayum phone. I told him before that I felt that things were uneven and that I was not gonna run after him. I was tryna be nice but I guess he didn't believe me. By this time I was over it. Where the hell have you been all week? Now you want to show some concern. Whatever. I texted him back on Saturday, two days later:

Me: "As far as your text message: CancelCancel, I'm surprised that you even care as far as I'm concerned. I have nothing against you but I've just grown tired of running after u. I'm always the one trying to see u and meet up with u. What happened to last Sunday? U were supposed to get back to me and u never did... I don't feel as though you want this as much as I did and as a result I have become disinterested in pursuing things further with u romantically. I like you as a person, ur kewl but I'm obviously not a priority... and that's kewl... We're just not at the same place right now and I'm not tryna get myself hurt pushing you into something that you obviously don't want. Because if you wanted it you would have taken the initiative. Period. At this point there is no future for us. Period. So why waste each other's time? I wish you the best in all your endeavors."

He text me back two hours and one minute later:

CancelCancel: "I understand where ur coming from. We're not meant for each other. I don't regret any of the time spent with u. I wish u all the best in life Adam. Nice knowing u.
-CancelCancel"

Now ain't that some shyt? Ya see why I don't get caught up so easily anymore. Was I not absolutely right? That was very 'easy come, easy go' as far as I was concerned. I'm so thankful for situations like this because it shows me how much I've grown. Now if this were two years ago I would have never even sent that first message. I would have suffered silently and tried my hardest to push him deeper into a one-sided, uneven, hurtful mess of a relationship. And if it were a year ago I would have called him, cussed his ass out, and hung up the phone on him. But I've grown. My best friend told me in the beginning after I told him that he canceled those first two dates that I was, and I quote "a stupid bitch" and to leave his ass alone but I was really sexually attracted to him and figured that more than likely we wouldn't go anywhere serious but I may get a few hot sessions out of the deal. Dating is supposed to be fun right? That's why I never put too much on it in the first place. I liked him but I've dated guys like him many times before and I knew what I was getting into. He's not a bad person, he's cool, there's no hard feelings. What he did wasn't necessarily wrong, it was wrong for me. But I've learned after seeing actions like his though not to expect much.

The moral of this story is: DON'T EVER RUN AFTER A MAN! EVER! Lemme repeat that for the people just skimming this post: DON'T EVER RUN AFTER A MAN! EVER! If he wants you, he will show you. He will make an effort toward getting to know you. The effort between you should be shared and equal. Your actions cannot make anyone love you, or like you, or appreciate you more. It's either there or it isn't. He wants you or he don't. And your heart will tell you you're doing too much. Listen to it, don't ignore it. Unlike most things in life this is black or white, very simple, either one or the other. You should not always be calling, you should not always be planning. Even if he gives you a million excuses, be understanding but realize that something still has to give sometime. If a man really wants something he will do whatever he has to do to get it. Period. Simple as that. If you can sacrifice sometimes for him, why can't he for you? Anything worth having is worth working and sacrificing for and if homeboy doesn't ever do it for you then that should tell you that you aren't worth having, to him, that is. Drop him.

This was a mild situation. 'Cuz back in the day situations like this would have me going through it. Since this is one of the only things I can say I know and can teach with complete certainty please take my advice. If you ever feel like your efforts in a friendship or a relationship aren't being reciprocated, stop. Talk to that person and tell them how you feel. Their reaction to your feelings will let you know whether they're worth having around.

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Playing In The Background...
"Doing Too Much"
by Paula DeAnda
from the album "Paula DeAnda"
and
"No Fool, No More"
by En Vogue
from the album "The Best Of En Vogue"
==========

Friday night Pubby and I went out on or third date. It was a birthday dinner he put together for one of his best friends. We dined at Forlini's, a very traditional Italian restaurant down in the part of Chinatown/Civic Center that used to be Little Italy. The restaurant looked so traditional with its oversize leather booths and murals of the Italian Riviera that I thought a bloodied member of a mob crime family would come stumbling past our table any second.

Over dinner we were having a heated debate about the internet, namely online dating/sex sites such as BlkGayChat/BGCLive, Adam4Adam, and Men4Now. Half the table, including Pubby, by the way, argued that all those websites are designed for is sex and that it is impossible for people to meet there and have a real relationship. The other half, my half, including the birthday girl, who looked stunning by the way, argued against that, saying that although there is a sexual overtone to those sites and the internet in general that the decision to have a casual fling or a meaningful relationship is that of the individuals involved regardless of where or how they met.

As you know I'm an advocate for internet dating. I think it's great. I've applauded it numerous times and have likened it's ease to that of ordering takeout. Along with the "Online Dating Horror Stories" I've posted here I've also had great experiences with the internet. Have I had flings and one night stands, sure I have, but I've also had relationships, friendships and non-sexual encounters with people I've met online. Often people who argue so fiercely against internet dating have little to no experience with it and blindly oppose it with no real foundation for their opinion as it is usually obtained from pseudo-austere snap judgment.

Anytime I am involved in this argument I notice that my opposition always seems to vilify the internet as though the internet is the sole reason why people hook up or why relationships don't last in the gay community. All the internet is is an avenue, another resource for people to meet. Now once they meet the decision to hook up or to begin dating is theirs. It seems that some of us fail to realize that people have been hooking up long before the internet and even now people still meet in other places, clubs, bath houses, sex parties, sex shops, gyms, and street corners, etc., where there's a will there's always been a way.

As the debate raged on a good point was made by someone from the opposing side. This person, who was older than we all were, said that the internet has chipped away at the organic process of meeting and dating people. As a person who came out after the advent of the internet and a person who's always had the internet as a part of his dating life I can personally attest to this. The internet does make the meeting process way more calculated and streamlined than meeting someone face to face. This is considered good or bad, depending on who you talk to. All or at least most of the relevant facts about a person are at a glance before you've even uttered your first audible 'Hello.'

I believe that most of us agree with the adages "easy come, easy go" and "anything worth having is worth working hard for" at least to some extent. Opponents of the internet often say that the ease of which you meet people on the internet contributes to the casual nature of the relationships of people who meet online. They argue that if you meet someone online and they are not everything you want them to be or if you are ever angry with them instead of working things out it's all too easy to go on the internet and meet someone else. While I see the validity of this argument I feel that this situation speaks more to the morals, relationship philosophy, and sheer self control of the individual. But what if that person has never been exposed to anything but the internet as far as dating is concerned? Wouldn't it be difficult for that person to see the people they meet as more than just a point and a few clicks? Touché (it's so cool when you could have a compelling argument with yourself). I have to admit that at times when I was in a relationship, especially after an argument, I was tempted to go on the internet and "check my messages." But as I stated previously that situation speaks to my individual self control.

In my self improvement effort to be as non-judgmental and objective as I can be I want to give myself the chance to see how the other half lives. How can I argue so vehemently for my side without having experienced the other? That would make my argument as empty and foundation-less as I stated that some of my opponents arguments were. So when I got home Saturday morning I deleted all of my internet dating accounts. Until further notice if I decide to meet anyone else it will be only through organic, non-internet means. Coincidentally, I actually met Pubby through a friend, but CancelCancel and Mr. Man I met originally via the internet. Although I'm not actively looking for anyone else at the moment I want to see how my relationships and my view on relationships differ without the internet as a factor. This is bound to be interesting. As always I'll keep you posted...

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Playing In The Background...
"Empty"
by Janet Jackson
from the album "The Velvet Rope"
==========

==========
With this post I'm christening a new category on the blog entitled "Dating". All of the date stories and date related stories will be placed there.
Enjoy.
==========

As you've read I'm dating right now. And for the first time ever I'm not dating exclusively. Believe it or not this whole thing is new for me. I've had a lot of sex, jumpoffs (people with whom I've had casual sexual encounters), one night stands and even relationships but never really dating, at least not like this. Going out with different people but with no expectation of sex, or a relationship, or anything for that matter, just chillin' and seeing where it goes, kinda like what straight people do. Everything is on a level playing field. There's no lying or cheating, you're free, they're free and you both can date whoever you like.

You meet people, you date them, you like them, they like you, you talk, you spend time, there's sexual attraction, things may happen. Unlike most guys, especially other tops, I'm not really into just throwing someone away once I sleep with them. If anything sex makes me want to be closer to the person. But if you are dating and you like someone and you spend time with them and you end up having sex you can't help but wonder if they're having sex with someone else or if they like someone else or if that sexy smile and gentle touch they give you they're giving to someone else. But then again why should you care because you're doing other things too, right? I guess that's supposed to make you feel better.

When we're dating, as much as we try to avoid saying it, at the end of the day we can only end up with one person. But when you're dating how and when do you decide which person that is? And what if that person doesn't feel the same way about you? And what about the other people you're dating? What do you tell them? And what about the holidays? Which holiday do you spend with which person? And what if they all wanna spend the same holiday with you? What about Valentine's day? Is it like a hotel or a plane ticket where you have to make your reservations early to get the days you want? Does Expedia have to get involved? How did something that was supposed to be so carefree and fun become so stressful?

Maybe I'm overreacting...

LINKS:
- Expedia.com

==========
Playing In The Background...
"Lollipop"
by Mika
From the album "Life In Cartoon Motion"
==========

Last Saturday night was my first date with Pubby. I've given him that nickname (that he just told me he doesn't like) because he works in magazine publishing. We had been beating around the bush, flirting via email and text message since our brief first meeting last week until I finally asked him out. I had originally asked him out to dinner but he already had dinner plans for that evening. So I asked him to dessert instead. Earlier that day I was flexing my concierge muscles searching for just the right place to go. After reviewing some of the menus online I realized that some of these dessert bars are a little too foo foo for me. Who the hell ever heard of corn ice cream? Yuk! So I decided to keep it simple and go to Junior's Times Square. Besides, we were meeting up at 11:30p anyway and at least I know they were gonna be open that late.

This date was scheduled on a night when I had to work the next morning which is something rarely ever do. But we had vibed so well over the past few days and really I wanted to see him again so I bended one of my rules a little. In preparation for the date I took a little nap earlier that evening before I went out. I woke up at 10, put on my pre-laid out outfit and bounced out the door around 10:50. Of course I forgot that it was the weekend and that the trains were not only gonna take forever but that they would be running local. I texted Pubby from the train station telling him that I may be running a little late. I'm very good about that kinda stuff. Saturday was unseasonably cold and I didn't want him to have to wait a long time for me. He was cool with it and said that he was gonna be about 15 minutes late as well.

I actually ended up arriving to Times Square basically on time. I looked at my cell phone, it said 11:36. I texted Pubby to tell him. Here is our succession of text messages:

11:38p: A: "I just got off the train at Times Square..."

11:40p: P: "See u in a bit."

11:41p: A: "Aight, I'll be at 45th & Bdwy."

Figuring that he would be a little later than 11:45 I decided to pop into the Virgin Megastore and pick up Lil' Mo's latest CD "Pain And Paper". I was in there at most maybe 15 minutes.

11:47p: P: "Perfect."

11:58p: P: "I'm on my way."

11:58p: A: "Aight."

I settled at the southwest corner of 45th & Broadway. I watched Nicole Scherzinger's "Whatever U Like" video in silence on the huge MTV screen across the street to pass the time. Her and T.I. have really good chemistry together. Then I opened the Lil' Mo CD I just bought and read the liner notes, she thanked Jesus more than most gospel artists. This kid walked by that I met online and went to a party with once. He looked me right in my face but didn't recognize me. I didn't know him well enough to go and say "Hi" or nothin' and besides, it's never been that serious. Then this guy that looked a lot like Kevin Liles (VP of Warner Music) walked by me and made a left onto 45th street. Oh wait, it is Kevin Liles, I know those bags anywhere. Too bad he's such a pompous jerk. Did you see that episode of "Oprah" he was on? I wanted to smack him! The girl he was with was pretty though.

12:10a: A: "Where u @ now?"

Just standing in Times Square, in the unseasonable cold, wiping my runny nose every few minutes. I thought about all of the first dates I've met here. Times Square (or Forty Deuce as they call it where I grew up in Brooklyn) has to be the most popular meeting place in the city. Probably because, most of the trains go here and who doesn't know where it is. This cold that is creeping up in my chest though is really fucking up my stroll down memory lane. 'Where the fuck is Pubby?' I thought, trying my best not to get upset. He said he'd only be 15 minutes late, it's already 25. I occupied myself by counting the hours of sleep I was losing by just being there. I coulda took a longer nap if I knew he was gonna be late like this.

12:15a: He calls me. When I heard his voice the frustration that was building up inside me started to wash away. I felt warm inside. He sounded so dayum good on the phone, but fuck that! I had to let this nigga know that this type of shyt is unacceptable. He apologized profusely for his tardiness and I never let the frustration leave my voice. He told me he was in a cab and on his way. I didn't even ask why his ass wasn't in a cab 30 minutes ago. See this is the shyt about dating that I hate.

12:28a: A: "Where are u?"

As my nose is till running and as I try not to get really pissed. I remind myself that he is in the cab and that there's probably traffic. This is New York.

12:28a: P: "42nd & 7th."

Okay he's a few blocks away. About 10 minutes later I look up to the north and see him come sauntering down Broadway toward me. I was mad at him but still happy to see him at the same time. He was so dayum fine, I couldn't stay mad at him for something like this if I tried. This is the only the first date so I calmed myself. He extended his arms to hug me:

"Sorry I'm late."

"It's okay... Actually no, it's not okay. You had me waiting out here mad long."
I said, asserting myself.

"I know babe, I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you."

You know exactly where my mind went. Shyt, fuck dessert. We can go straight back to my place and let the reparations begin. As we walked down the block toward Junior's I shook myself out of my fantasy.

Once we were seated we began to talk or rather playfully debate about life and music, which is one of my favorite subjects. We did all of this while looking dead into each other's eyes, not missing a syllable. I'm one of those people that looks people directly into their eyes when I talk to them. The eyes tell so much about a person. Even during our brief first meeting the other day it was Pubby's eyes that told me that he was attracted in me.

Originally, my idea for this date was for us to meet up at my place for dessert. I was gonna get some chocolate covered strawberries, whipped cream, ice cream, the works. Pubby texted me and told me that he was a "classicist" and that he was a little uncomfortable with our first date being at my place. I understand that because when you're at someone's house there is that underlying sexual vibe in the air. Even if there is no actual intention to have sex, probability is playing against you. I honestly wanted the date at my place because I knew I had to work the next day so that would have made things a bit easier for me, being at home. But being at Junior's was cool, I didn't love standing in the cold for an hour but I'm over that, I promise.

As time went on things began to get a little more cozy between us. The eye contact, the conversation. The grabbing of each other's legs every so often. As our conversation continued he took his leg and nestled it between my leg and the wall. Physical contact is always a good sign. I explained to him that my original proposal to do this at my place wasn't fueled by sex. I felt I needed to explain as this blog (which he visited prior to our date) seems to sometimes color people's view of how I am. You tell a few sex stories and people think you're the gay Wilt Chamberlain or something. He totally understood and inferred that it wasn't only me he was worried about. I was liking this dude even more.

We finally ordered, he had a warm brownie ala mode and I had the strawberry shortcake. We both had drinks and I was starting to feel mine. Y'all know I don't drink very often and it doesn't take much for me to get a little tipsy. As we continued vibing every so often he would get a phone call. But even those interruptions didn't disturb the groove we were in. We ended up closing out Junior's and after getting dirty looks from the staff we decided to leave but I really didn't want the night to end. By that time though it was after 1am and it was probably best for me to walk him to a cab and take my ass home.

I didn't know at the time but he actually didn't need a cab his friends were coming to pick him up. They were waiting outside, for a while according to one of his friends that's why he kept calling, in a car on 45th Street. I walked him to the car and prepared to say good night when he asked me whether I wanted to go to a club with them. I know I should have said no, as I had to wake up for work in about five and a half hours but I was having fun so I went.

Pubby's friend, the driver, we'll call him Alex is a socialite of sorts. I didn't know him personally but I'd always see him around. As you know I don't go out much but whenever I did go out he was one of the people I would usually see. He and two other people, one of which I actually know are people I would say "make a party." It's almost as though I haven't officially gone out unless I saw one of them. What was even funnier is that during the ride downtown Alex even said that "my face looked familiar."

Being in the car was cool. It gave Pubby and I a chance to get a little closer. Everything was going very well at that moment until I realized that we were going to a black club. Oh brother, I was mentally preparing myself to hear that dayum "Freakum Dress" song for the thirteen millionth time.

After circling and circling around Chelsea in search of a parking space we finally arrived to Secret. From what I heard this was the only black party going on that night and there was no cover. Needless to say, it was packed and the line was crazy. What's really crazy is that after all the websites I've done for the black clubs here in New York I should have known about this place but I'd never really heard of it before.

It was cold and none of us were interested in waiting on that line. Alex and Pubby got on their cell phones trying to contact their connects in the club in an effort to get us in. As we were standing in front of the club some friends of theirs came out and were saying that the party was "late" and that there a lot of young people in there. That's definitely to be expected at a free party. Basically they were saying that it wasn't even worth our time. Their major complaint was that all of the "A-list" people were outside the club while the inside was filled with "nots," people who weren't as popular and therefore didn't deserve to party or even live according to some.

So as we stood there they were talking to their friends as they badmouthed the party and ridiculed some of the younger and not so well put together patrons who were leaving the club. I over heard Pubby saying to another of the more popular scensters waiting outside:

"Don't they know that there's a caste system?"

Unfortunately there is a sort of caste system to the New York black gay scene. You've got your "haves", your "have nots" and even your "untouchables" and then there are those who have been touched way too much. Basically you're no one until someone talks about you. I'm not sure exactly where or even if I fit in somewhere on that scale. Luckily for me I don't give a flying fuck either way.

So we finally got in. Uh huh, niggas talked all that shyt but all they asses was eventually in that club. Squishing my way through the crowd all the reasons why I don't like the black clubs came rushing back to me. Look to the right, there's a guy that tried to talk to me online, look to the left there's another one. I did actually know a few people at this crowded ass party so I gave my salutations as I headed to the bar.

While waiting for his drink I stood behind Pubby as he lightly grinded his ass into me. I grabbed by his waist and did a few light touches and feels, that was cool. We made our way back to the dance floor in time for them to play Britney Spears "Gimme More (remix)" featuring T.I. When that beat dropped the whole club went off, everybody was dancing. I had been feening to hear that song in a club all weekend and I was tight that i didn't hear it when I was out with CancelCancel the night before. I stood on the floor as Pubby and Alex danced on top of a couch with drinks in their hands. It was a very Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie moment.

Soon after I went back to the bar and got myself a cranberry juice as Pubby and Alex made their rounds, being socialites. By that time we'd been at the club a little more than an hour and I was starting to get bored. See that's my issue with clubs, I don't understand how people can do this all night long. After about an hour, which is enough time to say all your "Hi's" and let all the kids see your face I'm ready to go. I was also ready to sit down. I sat on a leather couch in the back of club near the bathrooms. As I sat there on the couch pretty much ready to go this guy came up and tried to talk to me. He did the whole "Why you looking like that?" "What's your name?" spiel. This dude is trying to get my number and I'm supposed to be here on a date. In fact, where the fuck is my date?

I was ready to go. I circled the club looking for Pubby. I at least wanted to at least say goodbye before I left. I couldn't find him. In the midst of my search I did run into one of my good friends who was surprised to see me out at a club. I told him I was out with someone and I couldn't find them at the moment. He told me that I should circle the club one more time and if I didn't see him to bounce. I circled and didn't see Pubby.

As I was preparing to say goodbye via text message the lights came up. It was 4am and the party was over. I went outside and after glances to the right and the left, no Pubby. Right as I was about to push the 'send' button and stroll down the block there goes Pubby behind me. He was having a flirty conversation with some dude, probably an ex-date or something. Either way it's none of my business and jealousy has reared it's ugly head enough this weekend.

Pubby looks over at me, caught by surprise. I told him that I was ready to go as I couldn't find him for the past 45 minutes. It bothered me that the party was over he hadn't bothered looking for me in all that time. I didn't even get as much as a text. It would be easy to blame it on the alcohol but I wasn't gonna mentally brush this off that easily as I've been down this road before. Actually I used to live in a fuckin' condo on that road. This moment recalled some of the frustration I felt at the beginning of the night. I wasn't mad, but what I was was aware. I had concluded that Pubby though, intelligent, sexy, and fine, wasn't the most considerate person in the world.

We still all ended up leaving together though. Back in Alex's car Pubby and I were cuddled up again this time sharing our first kiss. It was nice. I felt a little electricity. He was cool, I like him and it was feeling really good to be close to him right then as Alex sped up 8th Avenue and then Central Park West with Lindsay Lohan and then Keyshia Cole blaring from the speakers. Yeah this was all nice but this evening's events are keeping me from getting too caught up. We'll see...

LINKS:
- Junior's Restaurants

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Playing In The Background...
"A Little More Personal"
by Lindsay Lohan
from the album "A Little More Personal (Raw)"
==========

Friday night CancelCancel and I went out on our second date. It had been exactly two weeks since our first date (click here to read that post). We were supposed to go out last Friday night but we got into an argument of sorts (more like a misunderstanding totally on my part) and ironically I ended up canceling that date. We managed to patch things up since then and we rescheduled our date.

We dined at Bond 45, a nice, but not ultra fancy Italian steakhouse right off Times Square. Dining there was especially fun because CancelCancel told me that he never been to a restaurant of that that caliber before and jokingly promised not to "act ghetto." I told him not to worry and regaled him with the story about me and my best friend's first time dining at a better restaurant. We didn't understand a thing on the menu and ordered whatever had lobster in it. I have to admit dining out in some of these places used to be a little intimidating at first especially seeing that I was usually one of the only black people there (read about one of those experiences in this post) but over time being a concierge I got used to it.

Dinner was great, we ordered the shrimp and scallop antipasti as the appetizer I had seafood over rice as my entree, he had the filet mignon and for dessert I had blueberry cannolis and he had strawberry cheesecake. We didn't have to pay for the check so I made sure to leave a big tip.

CancelCancel texted me earlier that day and said he wanted to go to a club. I was cool as long as it wasn't a black club. As you know I'm totally over the black gay club scene. If I see one more person "snap for the kids" or do a "Naomi Campbell walk" I'm gonna lose my effing mind! I was definitely seeking respite from the ubiquitous juggernaut that is Beyonce.

So we settled on Splash, a two level club in Chelsea. It was a mixed crowd, mostly white there on Friday nights and the change in scenery was more than welcome. No ex dates, no Beyonce, it was great! The indistinguishable house music booming from the speakers was at the perfect tempo for me and CancelCancel to start getting frisky on the dance floor. As the music was pumping I took my place behind him, grabbing his waist and grinding my dick into his backside. Every so often I would grab his hand and place it on my hardening dick, so he could feel it through my jeans and I would kiss his neck a little. It was crazy kinda like how they talk about in all those songs about being on a crowded dance floor and feeling like you're the only two people in the room. It was like that for us, very close, very passionate.

Every so often in between house beats the DJ would play a song that could actually be recognized. Once he played Rihanna's "Don't Stop The Music", the whole club went off. He also played a dance remix of Toni Braxton's "Un-break My Heart" to which everyone sang along. Twice during the night a certain totally wasted African-American weatherman for our local Fox TV affiliate stumbled by us, the second time making eyes with CancelCancel. I always heard that he was gay, now I know for myself.

Soon after we headed around the corner to Club Rush. When we first approached the club it was crowded and people were having trouble getting in. Just then one of the club promoters stepped out of the door, he was actually kinda cute. Then he motioned seductively for CancelCancel. 'Now I know this motherfucker sees us together.' I thought to myself but I was cool as CancelCancel walked over. He then tells him to come in for free. To that he says to the promoter "Well he can come in too, right?" (that was good looking out on his part, he betta had). The promoter said "Yeah" and we walked in.

As we walk in CancelCancel is a few paces in front of me. The club promoter is following behind and he keeps tapping me trying to get my date's attention. I'm looking back mean mugging and ignoring this nigga hoping his dumb ass gets the fuckin' point. At about that third tap I was about to turn around and wild the fuck out on this dude when I realized me and CancelCancel ain't together. Even though we're on a date and this dumbass is being mad fuckin' disrespectful to me right now CancelCancel is free to date whomever he wants. So I'ma chill and inform him that this faggot ass promoter dude wants to speak to him. I wanna see what CancelCancel is gonna do anyway. 'Cuz if he gives this dude his number in my face it's a fuckin' wrap!

So as he walks over to the promoter dude I follow behind and end up a few feet away. He's trying to spit his little weak, corny ass game at my date. I stood to the side, boiling, but I was trying my best to play it cool. I couldn't really hear their conversation but somewhere in the there that faggot asked whether I was CancelCancel's boyfriend. He said "No." He was right, but I have to admit that that did sting just a little bit. As they talked I was steady mean mugging this dude. He looks over and then gives me dap and asks me my name. Oh this faggot is bold as hell. I shoulda wiled the fuck out right then. But CancelCancel is not my dude and so far he hasn't disrespected me so still I kept it cool. From what I saw CancelCancel was humoring him more than anything and no numbers were exchanged so everything was aight. I was still mad though that this punk was really tryna play me like he didn't know what the fuck was goin' on.

CancelCancel did well, he passed this test. The real question though is whether he was just playing this off and woulda gave that dude his number if I wasn't around. He wouldn't have been wrong for it but I can't help but wonder if he was actually attracted to dude.

So we left from over there and got on the dance floor. CancelCancel is tryna dance with me but I'm not moving. I'm still heated. I'm mad that this faggot really just played me just now. I'm off the CancelCancel thing, this was between me and dude. As I stood there fidgeting with my hands I began to make two fists and my knuckles started getting hot. I wanted to punch that nigga in his face. I was ready to fight. This is a feeling I haven't felt since high school. I'm usually a much more level headed person than this, but then again this has never happened to me before.

In retrospect I realize that my anger from the whole situation was at the disrespect more than anything. It bruised my ego. As we all know the male ego is very fragile and even as gay men we aren't exempt from the occasional caveman moment.

It was loud as hell in there. Cancel Cancel kept asking me what was wrong. He knew exactly why I was heated. Rather than try to yell in my ear he decided to text me as there was no point in talking over that loud ass music.

"We had such a great night. Let's not spoil it over some dude at the door."

"I guess I can't really get mad 'cuz we're not "together" but that shyt was mad fuckin' disrespectful and if you woulda gave him ur number that woulda been a wrap! U didn't give him your number did u? His punk ass betta not try no shyt when we leave..."

"Nah I didn't give him my number. I only [talked to him] because he got us in the club for free. He lives in BK and you should know I don't do BK dudes remember?"
Let me explain that statement. About a year ago before CancelCancel and I met in person we used to talk online. The main reason why we never met back then was because he lived in The Bronx and I lived in Brooklyn at the time and the distance was too much for him.

"So if he didn't live in bk...? Anyway, all I know is his ass betta not try no slick shyt or you gon' see the other side 2nite..."

"Pleeeeease don't get in fighting mode. I didn't come out here for that and neither did u. I thought u didn't get jealous."

"I didn't think I was the jealous type either but when u like someone... and that shyt was disrespectful. I don't like that disrespectful shyt, that shyt gets me mad..."

"Ahhhh don't get mad. I'm having such a good time with u. U know how guys are so u should know how it is."

After our text conversation I was pretty much okay. I calmed down. We started dancing and having a good time. I was gettin' my grind back on and we were back to being frisky on the dance floor. The music was a good mix of pop and R&B. The crowd was younger that that of Splash, a lot of college kids. We were there for a good little while. Even though CancelCancel diffused the situation you best believe I was ready for that promoter motherfucker to try some shyt when we left the club. If he woulda said one more thing I woulda lit his ass up. CancelCancel told me later that night that he was hoping that we didn't see him again. All in all I won anyway, I got the dude that nigga wanted and his dumb ass let me in the club for free, saving me 20 bucks. So it was all good.

See this is where the therapy comes in. After writing and now reading this blog entry 36 hours later I'm so happy I didn't let my ego get the best of me. Cuz if I woulda fought that dude the big ass bouncer was there in front and I'm pretty sure woulda been on dude's side. I'm not a punk but I'm smart enough to know I can't beat everybody. And it was a Friday night, in white ass Chelsea. The police woulda been called and we definitely woulda got arrested. We wouldn't have been let out until at least Monday and I had to work today (Sunday). So I would have have gotten arrested and possibly a record and possibly fired and maybe even God forbid, a scratch or a bruise on my face all for my foolish pride. I'm good. some things really aren't worth fighting for.

LINKS:
- Bond 45 Restaurant

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Playing In The Background...
"Don't Stop The Music (The Wideboys Club Mix)"
by Rihanna
from the album "Good Girl Gone Bad (Bonus Remix CD)"
==========

==========
I'm an advocate for online dating. I think it's great. Of course like any other kind of dating you should be careful about meeting strangers and you should be selective of who, when, where, and how long it will take before you are ready to meet somebody. On the other hand everyone is a stranger until you get to know them, right? To me meeting people online much better than getting dressed and going out to a club because it's free and you can do it in the privacy of your own home and talk to as many people as you want to one time and rejection is just a click of a mouse! All their info is on their profile, it's like ordering takeout. This series will focus on some of the not so good experiences I've had with online dating.
Enjoy.
==========

In a temporary lapse of sanity, judgment, thought, reason, and all that is good and right I met someone off the chat line. What the fuck was I thinking? I had a friend who used to do it and being the curious person I am I wanted to try it too. Maybe love was waiting for me out there among the telephone lines. If you are unfamiliar with what a chat line is, it's basically everything that happens online except over the phone and without pictures, unless you employ some sort of medium for photo exchange. But of course most of the people who use the chat line "mysteriously" don't have pictures. Basically it's a haven for ugly, weird people. But I figured I'm on here so there must be someone else normal out there... right?

So I meet this guy, we'll call him Chin Chim Chimney, Chim Chim for short. He sounded good looking over the phone... You know what, that makes no sense whatsoever. I hear people say that dumb shyt all the time and it sounds no more intelligent now that I've said it. I should have known better.

The first day we talked the convo went well. Chim Chim sounded like a cool person. Of course I found a way to show him a picture of me and he liked what he saw. So we decided to meet.

That next day he called me once he got out of the train station so I could direct him to my house. He got to my door and he... he... let's just say he wasn't attractive to me. On top of that he smelled like cigarettes. I HATE cigarettes. I have never smoked a day in my life. Not only did he smell like cigarettes, he reeked of cigarettes, it was like a brown cloud all around him coming from his clothing, his pores, his soul... yuk! He had to GO!

Believe it or not and unfortunately for me I'm not a mean person. As he sat at my table, looking at me in the kitchen I was trying to think of the nicest and quickest way to get rid of this dude. In retrospect I should have just been direct and said 'Yo dude, I'm not feelin' it. Sorry you gotta go.' but I have to admit I was a little gunshy after dealing with Online Dating Horror Story #1 and most importantly I didn't wanna hurt Chim Chim's feelings.

So as I stood in the kitchen making a pitcher of Blue Raspberry Lemonade Kool-Aid occasionally glancing behind me at this him trying to find a redeeming quality as I stood and he sat in awkward silence. Then the stale cigarette smell started wafting toward me prompting me to speed this 'getting-Chim-Chim- the-hell-out-my-house-before-"New-York-Undercover"-comes-on' process along. And I sure as hell was not tryna have my crib smelling like that. Alright Adam think, how are we gonna do this without hurting anyone's feelings?

Then the light bulb came on. Okay so I'm a full top and he's a full bottom. What does a bottom hate more than anything, well most bottoms I know anyway? A sissy ass top. If I just acted real cunt right now maybe he'll be turned off by me and want to leave. I'm also gonna make up some fake event I have to be at in a few hours so I can tell him I need to get ready and have an excuse to make him leave. I'll cover my bases both ways. Hopefully this shyt works. So I pick up my cell phone and call my best friend, 'his ass betta answer this phone', I thought. The convo went something like this:

"Hello"

"Heyyyyy!"
I answered.

"Bitch, what is wrong with you?"

"When is da house meetin'?"
I asked, sounding like a queen, knowing good and dayum well I ain't in nobody's house but my best friend is.

"Adam, what are you talkin' about? There ain't no house meeting tonight."

"Oh aight, tonite, like 12, 12:30? We gon' turn it on the girls!"
I stated, talking over him as he questioned my sanity.

"Gurl, what are you givin'?"

"Bitch what you walkin'? I'm walkin' realness."
I said, upping the anti. I look back at Chim Chim and his expression is priceless. It's a mixture of shocked, disgusted, and over it. This is working. It's time to reel this baby on in.

"Ooh no! Bitch you got a date over there don't you?"
My best friend asks, finaly getting in to what I'm doing here. It's not like we haven't done this kinda thing before.

"Yeah... I'll meet you at the train station on two-fifth."
I said both answering his question and continuing the fake conversation I was having.

"What's wrong? That date look fieeerce don't she?"

"Yes."
I answered.

"Ooh no! Kick her to the the curb Miss Thing."

"I'm trying to..."

"You acting cunt to scare her off Miss Thing?"

"Yesssss hunny!"
I answered cuntly as I have forgotten about keeping in character for the last few responses.

"Ooh no! Gurl I can't take! Go off Miss Adam. Talk to you lata bitch."

"I'll see you lata gurl."

So I turn back to Chim Chim, he's dumbfounded and I'm lovin' it. He is so over me I can feel it. Then he inquired:

"You're in a house?"

"Yeah, I walk schoolboy realness."

I said that in my normal voice trying to pretend like I wasn't just sounding like a straight up queen forty five seconds ago. See I figured that switching back and forth would make things seem more real. Like my queen side was something I tried hide but it only came out when I was caught off guard or talking to another member of my house. Not only was I a queen, but a deceitful queen at that. He's so over me.

"Well I, I gotta go."
Chim Chim said.

"You sure you don't wanna stay for some Kool-Aid?"
I asked, with my back turned from Chim Chim, trying my hardest not to laugh.

"Nah I'm good."

I led him to the door and I was home free. Once he left I had to spray half a can of Renuzit to break up the toxic cloud he left. I sipped on some Kool-Aid and snuggled up with Malik Yoba and Michael DeLorenzo on "New York Undercover". They were much better dates anyway.

So kiddies what have we learned from this experience? One, never, ever, ever call the chat line. Please stay away! Two, don't be afraid to tell someone how you feel. If you ever meet someone and you're not feeling it, you're not feeling it, oh well. You don't owe anyone anything. I'm taking the refresher course on that one. And the best thing to do when meeting someone for the first time is to meet them in a public place. This would have all been much easier if we met in Crown Fried Chicken, in McDonalds, or on the corner or something. I coulda just ran from his ass!

For more insight about online dating including a synopsis of the major black gay "dating" websites check out my post here.

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Playing In The Background...
"Smoking Cigarettes"
by Tweet
from the album "Southern Hummingbird"
==========

==========
With this post I'm christening a new category on the blog entitled: Online Dating Horror Stories.

I'm an advocate for online dating. I think it's great. Of course like any other kind of dating you should be careful about meeting strangers and you should be selective of who, when, where, and how long it will take before you are ready to meet somebody. On the other hand everyone is a stranger until you get to know them, right? To me meeting people online much better than getting dressed and going out to a club because it's free and you can do it in the privacy of your own home and talk to as many people as you want to one time and rejection is just a click of a mouse! All their info is on their profile, it's like ordering takeout. This series will focus on some of the not so good experiences I've had with online dating.
Enjoy.
==========

I was online late one night talking to this dude. It was winter time and dumb cold outside. He seemed really nice and the conversation via IM was going well. We talked on the phone for a while. During that conversation we were talking about our lives, current events, etc., etc. He had mentioned that his friend tried out for a TV show a few weeks prior. The tryouts for that particular TV show were held at the hotel I was working at at the time. I mentioned that to him and we laughed at the coincidence and at how small the world is.

He had seen pictures of me on my online profile. I am very thorough about that. In fact I have never been rejected by someone I met online before. It's not necessarily because I'm so fine, it's because I always have very recent and clear pictures of myself. What you see is what you get here, no surprises.

This guy, we'll call him... hmmm... I wanna call him something that's not gonna give away the rest of the story... how about Crazy Terrorist Monster? We'll call him Crazy Terrorist Monster, CTM for short. CTM, unfortunately had no pictures online and you know that that means: UGLY ALERT! UGLY ALERT! There's no reason for anyone nowadays with all this technology we have not to have a picture ready for email. I knew better that to even be thinking about meeting him sight unseen but against my better judgment, (when meeting someone online NEVER go against your better judgment) I entertained the possibility.

Like I said, it was real, real late at night and even though he didn't live that far from me it was brick ass cold and he still didn't mind traveling. That's usually not necessarily a good sign. I leveled with him. I told him:

"Look CTM, I don't know what you look like, you could look like a monster or something so I can't promise that anything romantic will happen between us. But you seem mad cool so if you come no matter what I will at least let you stay over until the morning."

I actually had to wake up for work in a few short hours, I don't know what my ass was doing up that late anyway. Anyway he agreed to my disclaimer and proceeded to make his way over. I did my usual first date sleepover ritual of removing the knives from my magnetic metal bar on the wall in the kitchen. With those knives out there in plain sight I didn't want anybody to get any ideas. He seemed cool but is ass could still be crazy and I had no picture of him to show the cops.

He arrived, I came to the door and he was indeed a monster. I can't remember what he looked liked as I didn't stare directly into his face. All I knew was that he was a mess and I was over it that I had stayed up this late talking to his ass. Now I was ready to go to sleep. Once he came in we said about fifteen words to each other before I was ready for bed. So we went to sleep. I even gave in to him trying to grind his ass all up on me and spoon with me, whatever, as long as I didn't have to see his face.

I woke up a few hours later and got dressed and ready for work with the quickness. It definitely wasn't a love connection. After a silent walk to the train station I went down the stairs and he continued up the street. We parted with a dry "Later." Knowing good and dayum well we'd never speak to each other again, or so I thought.

After struggling through work, tired and bitchy I got home and got back online checking my favorite message boards and my emails and doing my regular stuff. Then I got an instant message, it was CTM. It said:

"How was work?"

I'm thinking 'why is this dude hittin' me up?' There was obviously nothing between us. So I just ignored it. When I checked my messages on the website that we met on I see he left me something there too. I'm thinking 'Was he not here last night? Why is he still talking to me?' So, not feeling up to having a whole discussion with him about it I ignored his message there as well. I take a nap and a few hours go by and I'm just chillin', doin' me when I receive another instant message from him. It went something like this:

"Oh so it's like that bitch! You just gonna ignore me. Aight I got you. That's why I'm come to your job tomorrow at the John Doe Plaza Hotel and get you fired!"

I read that shyt like fifteen times just so I could believe it, I had to let that shyt sink in. So I guess his ass gon' come to my job and start a scene. And how the fuck do this crazy bitch know where I work? Then it came back to me, oh fuck, that conversation we had about the TV show, that crazy, detail remembering, psychotic ass bitch. Shyt, what the fuck was I gonna do? Surely this could be an idle threat but I cannot run the risk of this psychopath starting some silly shyt at my job. Even if I beat him down I'm still getting fired and I cant even take it outside. If ya ass is caught fighting in the middle of Midtown Manhattan NYPD is lockin' yo ass up. Dayum, I knew I shoulda never let his ass come over. What am I gonna do. Then the phone calls started:

"Hello."

I say, knowing it's CTM crazy ass calling from a private number. This is why I don't answer private calls to this day.

"Bitch!"

Then he hangs up. It happened again a few more times. After the second time I just stopped answering the phone. Okay Adam, breathe. We (like I'm two people) gotta figure this shyt out. I tried to call him back, he wouldn't answer. I tried to hit him up on the website, he blocked me. I tried to hit him up via IM, he blocked me there too. So I signed onto IM using another screen name and I saw that he was online. I left him this message:

"I really hope that's not you sending me threatening messages and playing on my phone. I just wanted to let you know that I just got finished talking to the director of security at the John Doe Plaza Hotel and I emailed him your little threat. Hotels are considered big terrorist targets nowadays and your threat is being taken very seriously. I gave him your description and if you are seen on the premises you will be removed and handed over to the proper authorities. And I may not know what blocked number you called me from but the phone company does and so do the police."

Suddenly the calls stopped. I totally bullshitted my way out of that situation, I didn't talk to anyone or email anything, I made all that shyt up. I have to admit though that shyt was hot. I guess if I really emailed the hotel and talked to the director of security that that's the kind of action that they would take. After I sent the message and the calls stopped, I slept much better that night. I had successfully diffused the situation.

I have to admit the next day at work I did keep an eye open for his crazy ass, he never showed and I never heard from him again.

For more insight about online dating including a synopsis of the major black gay "dating" websites check out my post here.

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Playing In The Background...
"Crazy"
by Gnarls Barkley
from the album "St. Elsewhere"
==========

"A double minded man is unstable in all his ways."
-James 1:8 (KJV)

I will not date another church boy. I don't care how fine he is, or how smart he is, or how sexy he is to me I just cannot do it, they're all bipolar and crazy. I grew up in Pentecostal church all my life, I know all about the fire and the brimstone, the weeping and gnashing of teeth, etc, etc, etc. Their whole doctrine, as most religious doctrines are, of course is diametrically opposed to my being gay and use fear of hell, fear of the Lord, fear of death, fear of ones shadow, etc., whatever it takes to keep it's followers in line. As a grown up I have discovered that God is not a sadist who enjoys the smell of burning flesh in the morning. I've also learned that anything rooted in fear is opposed to love and the Bible says:

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
-1John 4:18 (KJV)

Now please don't think because I may quote a scripture here and there that I'm some type of preacher or theologian because I'm so not. I just think that the Bible has a lot of great principles in it once you get past all the war and hateful stuff, but I digress. So what exactly is a church boy, you ask. Let me give you my definition:

church boy - A gay male who attends a Christian church whose doctrine opposes his gay lifestyle. He is usually an active member of that church serving in the capacities of pulpit and/or music ministries. He is not open about his gay lifestyle to members of his church and consequently lives a double life. He believes that homosexuality is a sin and in an effort to excuse his behavior he will often say that his homosexuality is a temporary condition and that someday he plans on marrying a woman even though he usually doesn't have much experience dating women.

Sounds pretty crazy don't it? Church boys as a result of their religious teaching that homosexuality is wrong usually have shame issues and are unable to maintain a relationship with a gay man such as myself. One day everything's all lovey dovey, the next day they feel like what they're doing is wrong and they push away from you. Yeah, bipolar and double minded like I said. I've been in a few of these situations before. Now I steer clear of a church boy. I have no problem with God or Jesus, it's the church folk that's crazy.

It reminds me of this dude I used to date, let's call him Calvin. One night we were at my house and we were online. Calvin goes to this website that showed pictures of different outfits for wedding parties. He seemed to be really into it. Keep in mind that Calvin wasn't the hardest rock in the quarry. As we look at the pictures he says to me:

"I wanna get married someday."

"Oh for real, to a woman?"

I asked, kinda shocked 'cuz he was so fem. I really couldn't see him with a woman. And now that I think about it that was a kinda effed up thing to say to me as we were dating at the time and I never knew before that moment that that was how he felt. It's like saying 'yeah I like you and everything but when I get this homo monkey off my back I'm gonna dump you and get married to a woman'. Well thanks Calvin, there goes our future.

"Yeah, and I want her dress to look like this and I want the bridal party to wear this and I wanna pick the colors..."

He said as he pointed to the pictures on the computer screen, sounding like a true queen.

"Ummm Calvin... that's the bride's job. It's her day, it's her wedding. She's gonna pick her own dress.."

It seemed to me like Calvin wanted to be a wedding coordinator more than he wanted to be a groom.

There's always this overwhelming self hatred thing with them. I guess a lot of it gets reinforced through what they're taught in church. I've heard pastors and preachers actually call gay men faggots in the pulpit. And what's crazy is that many of them are overgrown "church boys" themselves living on the DL (or not so much on the DL cuz they usually ain't foolin' nobody).

My main issue with the whole thing is why even bother? If being gay is so wretched and terrible then why do it? It's not as though we need anybody else on our team. We're good. We have enough perfectly screwed up queens already to have to deal with your church girl bipolar issues. I even asked a friend of my friend who's gay and thought that being gay was a sin why he even bothered doing it. He looked at me bewildered, like I was speaking Greek.

I personally don't feel like homosexuality is a sin, I absolutely don't. As much as I prayed and cried and cried and prayed and cried in my teenage years "Oh Jesus take it away," if it was so horrible it woulda been gone by now. I am the way I am for a reason and I'm happy, damn happy! The only reason why I wanted to change back then was for acceptance from other people. God loves me just like he loves anyone else and I'm not abominable either. Snowmen are abominable, I'm Adam and I'm fine. I was a church boy at one time myself until one day it just clicked for me and I let go of all the religious rhetoric and started living my life and I'm so glad for it.

I actually feel sorry for the church boys. Living a double life ain't easy, especially with all that lying you have to do to maintain it (which is also a sin by the way). I wish them the best and hope that they find true happiness on either side of the fence. And if staying away from me or anyone or anything else gay is the way to do that, by all means, do it. I am definitely not the advocate for turning people out. If you feel like you're straight and that being gay is sinful and wrong then by all means please go and be straight! Emphasis on the word GO!

==========
Playing In The Background...
"Go"
by Tamia
from the album "A Nu Day"
==========

I finally went out on a date last Friday with Mr. CancelCancel (I call him that because he had canceled on me twice earlier that week). I met him downtown about 25 minutes late because I couldn't find anything to wear. I'm unfortunately one of those people who has a closet full of clothes but yet can never find anything to wear. I was already late getting home to change clothes for the date because had been running errands all day. And you know how in your mind you have planned out what shirt, jeans, sneakers, belt, fitted you are gonna put on but when you actually put it together it doesn't look right. Yeah, it was one of those days.

This was my first date as a newly single person, I was kinda rusty at this and I wanted it to go well, CancelCancel and I had been corresponding all that week and we were both kinda excited about last Friday. This expectancy also put more pressure on me. I wanted to look good. In an effort not to be too too late I put on one of my tried-and-true-I-know-it-looks-good outfits on and hurried out the door.

CancelCancel had just finished work when I met him and even though I got a text from him giving a disclaimer about his appearance he looked great. He was definitely my type too, 5'8-5'9. about 145 lbs,  a little lighter than me (that doesn't matter so much though), smart, kinda goofy/nerdy the same way I am. That's so sexy to me, he was sexy to me.

Because of my tardiness we missed the showing of "Superbad" that we planned to see so we decided on the showing an hour later which gave us about 45 minutes to play with. We walked to the movie theatre and on the line I looked behind me and saw him taking money from his wallet to buy his ticket. When I reached the box office window before him I took out my debit card and bought both tickets. When we were walking away from the box office he turned to me to give me his money. I looked at him and motioned for him to put away his money as to say 'your money's no good here shawty, Big Daddy got this." Then he said, "Alright then, I'll pay for your popcorn." Good move CancelCancel, nobody likes a gold digger.

So we went to the park and sat on a bench over looking the Hudson River and talked. I wanted to kiss him but with the whole gay thing I wasn't sure how comfortable he would be with kissing in public. There weren't that many people near us, maybe about five or six in a thirty foot radius, mostly couples definitely too busy gettin' their own respective freaks on to be all up in our business. As I get older I care less and less about such things. I wouldn't wantonly tongue CancelCancel down in public, I don't even like it when straight people do that. All I wanted was a light peck or two, or eight. But not knowing how he would react to it I decided against it.

As we made our way into the movie theatre I thought about how many times I had gotten my dick sucked in movie theatres back in the day all the movies that ended up watching me insead of me watching them. Out of sheer force of habit I scanned the empty theatre seats for the coveted back corner pair of seats. You can get away with anything over there. Now that I have my own place I don't do things like that anymore but when you're young and living at home and too broke to get a hotel room you gotta find some way to get your freak on. After shaking myself back into my present reality we found some seats in the back but in the middle of the theatre. I wanted to actually watch this movie.

"Superbad" was good. It was made by the same people who did "Knocked Up" (the funniest movie I have ever seen before in my life, read more about it in my blog post here), that's why I was so anxious to see it. It was funny but it was no "Knocked Up", but I definitely recommend it.

I lifted up the armrest partition that separated us so that I could rest my head on his shoulder. All during the movie our hands would touch and squeeze each other as an exercise of our sexual tension and the mutual infatuation we were developing for one another. About halfway into the movie I grabbed him softly by the chin and kissed him, there were some fireworks there. Then a little later I kissed him again. Toward the end of the movie his hands were searching the crotch of my jeans feeling for my dick, which was already hardening against my left leg. I then adjusted it so he could get a better feel of it. He rested his hand there. Soon after, the lights came up and we left the movie theatre.

Being full on $22 worth of nachos, liquid cheese and a gallon of soda we decided to skip the dinner we planned. As we walked from the theatre toward the train station I didn't want the night to end and I dayum sure wanted to kiss him again. So I nervously asked:

"Do you wanna go back to my place?"

==========
Playing In The Background...
"My First Night With You"
by Mya
from the album "Mya"
==========