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This post is dedicated to all the women who read this blog. I see you.
-Adam
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Yesterday when I posted my 7 lessons I learned in 2007 my mind immediately went to my older sister Nikki. Nikki and I have always been close my whole life. Though Nikki is religious and saved like my parents are she still accepts me for who I am and is my only family member that reads my blog. She's told me that reading my blog is like a surreal experience for her due to the fact that the experiences I've had and all the emotional trauma I've gone through as a result of relationships I never shared with my family before. I kept it all inside. So to read that Adam, who she still sees as her chubby cheeked little brother was out there fucking around and doing all types of crazy stuff (if you're new, just check out the "Sex" and "Online Dating Horror Stories" sections of the blog to catch up) totally amazed her. She's said that through the blog she feels like she's getting to know me all over again. It's such an honor to know that Nikki, who's been writing and blogging all her life (even before there was a such thing as a blog) enjoys my writing and is proud of me. Although I know she doesn't understand everything I do and I'm sure she cringes and winces here and there, I also know that she loves me unconditionally and that's what really matters.
So I'm sure we've all seen Tyler Perry's play and his movie "Diary Of A Mad Black Woman", right? Well Tyler ain't got nothin' on my big sis. 2007 has been a really trying year for Nikki to say the least, I'll give you the short story. She came into the year finding out that her husband of ten years and father of her three children, the third of which she was pregnant with at the time, was not only cheating on her, he also had another family and essentially another life on the other side of town. She dumped him and moved with her three children to another state in an effort to restart her life. She finds a new boyfriend, who she later learns is sleeping around with another family member of ours. The stress of all of this infidelity and deceit on top of being a single mother of three children, one of which is autistic, was just too much for her body and mind to take. In the Summer of this year Nikki suffered a stroke, due to stress, and being overweight and almost died. After her stint in the hospital Nikki and her children moved into my mother and father's house down south. Currently Nikki is there starting over yet again after making a full recovery and even shed 90 pounds in the process. She's working again and has reconnected with God and her spiritual side and gives him and my parents all the credit for helping her start over again. Today Nikki is currently writing again on her MySpace blog and working on getting her own place.
Nikki is a walking miracle. After all she's been through this year I know that she has a lot to share. Yesterday I asked her to write her 7 lessons and although I've never had a guest writer on my blog before, who better than my big sis, Nikki to christen the new category.
Nikki's 7 Lessons She's Learned In 2007:
Oh Ad... you know I have life lessons in 2007 that I will never forget. This year has definitely been the year of completion for me and it has brought me all the way back to one. After losing my house, my marriage, my car, my clothes and darn near my life I'm just happy to be here most days. Since you're my brother I will take the liberty to put some of my life lessons on your blog... you won't mind :)
Lesson One:
I've learned to do all I can today because tomorrow is not promised.Lesson Two:
I've learned to follow my first instinct about a person.
If you got to say "well he...", "well maybe..." stop making excuses for him and get rid of the nigga fast. A "well" ain't nothing but a hole in the ground.Lesson Three:
I've learned that sometimes the people closest to you can bring you down faster than a negro in the street.Lesson Four:
Sometimes running from your problems can cause bigger problems.
I've learned to stand still, face the day, and stop running.Lesson Five:
I've learned that putting God first in my life is priority.
Without him with me in the hospital, I would have died. I'm not perfect and I don't think none of us are... but a personal relationship with God is better than all the money in the world. I have peace of mind now.Lesson Six:
I've learned to stop being so darn nice.
I have to put a limit on how much I help people. Some people can take your niceness for a weakness and it can do more harm than good.Lesson Seven:
Last but not least. After losing everything and starting from scratch. I'm learning to be patient with myself.
I can't even begin to explain how humbling it is to come home to Mommy and have to live by someone else's house rules again. But I'm learning that Rome wasn't built in a night. That God's got my back and this time I'm building from a stronger foundation. So I'm looking forward to 2008 and what the year of "new beginnings" will bring.I'll let you know if I think of anything else.
Love ya.-Nikki
Nikki can be reached via her MySpace page.
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Playing In The Background...
"Sister" feat. Faith Evans
by Kelly Price
from the album "Priceless"
and
"Declaration (This Is It!)"
by Kirk Franklin
from the album "Fight Of My Life"
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