Poetry: October 2007 Archives

==========
I was talking to Pubby about relationships today and why mine never seem to work and in the midst of everything the person told me that the reason why guys probably don't see me as the relationship type is because I give off a strong flirtatious, sexual aura to people when they first meet me. I had to agree that I do and a lot of it I do unconsciously. People even say that about the pictures on the website. What's even funnier was that I was chosen as "Man Of The Month" for an online magazine. I did the photo shoot yesterday and that's gonna be another round of sexy pictures on the site. I guess that part of it is my fault but I gotta promote myself, right? My hope is that the pictures get people here but the words will make them stay.

How I long for the day, for the man who will love me for what's inside my heart. I just finished this poem that I'm gonna share with you all. As I wrote it about two and a half tears streamed down my face. I'm so fucking mad because I am really not the type to cry, but I couldn't help it. As I have said before, it's so easy to write about sex and fucking and all that other graphic shit. It's writing about my feelings and insecurities that's the hardest. So here it is.

Enjoy.
==========

Behind These Bedroom Eyes...
by A. Benjamin Irby

(Addressed to the man of my dreams, whoever he may be.)

**clears throat**

Behind these bedroom eyes there's a kind and gentle soul.
One that could give you everything if you only cared to know.
There's so many layers, so much more than what you see.
So much more for you to explore deep inside of me.

Behind these bedroom eyes I'm more than just for play.
I can be a whole lot of fun tonight but such more if you were to stay.
I wanna be around for more than just a week.
Unlock the secrets of my heart and I'll be yours to keep.

Behind these bedroom eyes there's a scared little boy.
Doing what he can, trying to be a man, using whatever he can employ.
Trying to patch up wounds inside his heart that were never truly sewn.
Grabbing on to branches, taking chances, deathly afraid of being alone.

Behind these bedroom eyes I wanna fall in love.
Just wanna be the one you need like I was sent from above.
Don't believe all that you've heard, let me tell you how I feel.
I know I have a checkered past but this time the feeling's real.

Behind these bedroom eyes I love to see you smile.
My heart skips a beat every time we meet, baby please stay for a while.
I'd would give up anything just to be with you tonight.
Your touch, your feel, it feels so real and I know that it's right.

Baby if you take a chance you will be surprised.
At what you find, right behind my bedroom eyes.

==========
Playing In The Background...
"Heaven Sent"
by Keyshia Cole
from the album "Just Like You"
and
"The Wound"
by Jazzyfatnastees
from the album "The Once And Future"
==========
==========

==========
With this post I'm christening yet another category for the blog, the "Poetry" category. The first things I ever wrote were poetry and songs. I have been writing them since I learned how to write. Oddly enough, there isn't much of my poetry on this blog. There's only one other poem that I've put up here (click here to read that one). My poetry, like my writing is always inspired by real life events. I feel something and they just flow. Most of my poems take probably at most like an hour to write, some I'll write in five or ten minutes. And they all rhyme, I hate poems that don't rhyme. So from now on anytime I'm feeling poetic I'll post here.

Enjoy.

-Adam
==========

Indifferent
by A. Benjamin Irby

To avoid being hurt, though it's different for me.
Gotta keep my love inside of me.
You wanna do you, I wanna do we.
Even though it hurts, I pretend not to be.
In order to keep my sanity.
I gotta treat you indifferently.

I wanna show my love for all to see.
Give you all I have inside of me.
But you tell me you're not ready.
And this is just the way it's gotta be.
Gotta hold back how I truly feel.
Don't wanna fall for you if it's not real.
Gotta pull back, need time to heal.
Wanna say "I need you babe" but my lips are sealed.

To avoid being hurt, though it's different for me.
Gotta keep my love inside of me.
You wanna do you, I wanna do we.
Even though it hurts, I pretend not to be.
In order to keep my sanity.
I gotta treat you indifferently.

You can call me an actor.
'Cuz I gotta go around playing all these characters.
Inside I'm such a loving man.
But to keep it to myself is so much better than,
To give it to someone who won't appreciate,
So I'll abbreviate, I ain't got no time to waste, and,
I'll take this time to work on me.
Maybe you'll come around, maybe not,
I guess we'll see.

To avoid being hurt, though it's different for me.
Gotta keep my love inside of me.
You wanna do you, I wanna do we.
Even though it hurts, I pretend not to be.
In order to keep my sanity.
I gotta treat you indifferently.

Then you ask me "What's goin' on?"
Why I haven't been myself lately.
I'm not mad just trying to be strong,
Be a little more like you baby.
Can't expect me to call like I used to.
'Cuz you don't feel the same way as I do.
To avoid being hurt, though it's different for me.
I gotta treat you indifferently.

To avoid being hurt, though it's different for me.
Gotta keep my love inside of me.
You wanna do you, I wanna do we.
Even though it hurts, I pretend not to be.
In order to keep my sanity.
I gotta treat you indifferently.

So I guess I'll see you when I see you.
You'll see me when you see me too.
'Cuz that's the way you want it to be.
Maybe indifferent is just too different for me?

==========
Playing In The Background...
"Get Mine, Get Yours"
by Christina Aguilera
from the album "Stripped"
==========