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WARNING:
SOME OF THE LANGUAGE AND/OR SUBJECT MATTER IN MY BLOG MAY BE OFFENSIVE
TO SOME AND IS NOT SUGGESTED READING FOR ANYONE UNDER 18 YEARS OF AGE.
READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.
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You know, I don’t know why so many people get all hung up over the online thing… In my opinion it’s really not so terrible. In the past I’ve dated a few people I’ve met from online and this is what I’ve heard more or less more than a few times:
“If this whole thing works out between us I don’t want people to know we met online.”
Why? What in the hell is the big deal? So what you have a profile online, it doesn’t make you a bad, ugly, desperate, or promiscuous person; at least no more than anyone else. I think it’s a good way to meet people. Granted, everyone won’t be a gem but if you’re on and you’re decent I’m sure there’s someone else out there who is decent as well. I believe who you attract also depends on which site you use and how you present yourself. It’s like going out to a club. If you go out to a club and dress and dance like a sex fiend, guess what you’ll attract? The sites are like online clubs; except you don’t have to get dressed or pay a cover charge and if someone rejects you (rarely ever happens to me) you’re spared the embarrasment of having other people around. That sounds like a good deal to me! So which site should you use? Good question. Sites like I said are like clubs and like clubs each site has a different scene. Which scene works best for you?
BGC aka BlkGayChat.com/BGCLive.com:
BGC is like going to one of those clique thrown parties (won’t
mention any names). It’s the youngest crowd, mostly black, a little
pretentious, conceited, and probably the least sexual and hook up
oriented out of the three. It’s the party you go to when your haircut
is fresh and you are rocking your nicest outfit eventhough you already
know you’re gonna see the same faces every time you go. You don’t know
them but you may as well as much as you see them and as much as they
see you. You’d think that one of you would at least say “Whaddup?” or
be somewhat cordial to one another but the shade is so thick you can
cut it with a knife. The shade factor withstanding, it can be a good
place to meet platonic friends as well. It’s also the most popular with
the ballroom scene.
A4A aka Adam4adam.com:
Any time I meet people from this A4A and I tell them my name I hear
the same corny ass joke. Let’s say I meet a guy named Joe and I tell
him my name, he’ll say “Adam4Joe” and then he’d laugh like what he said
was funny. Nigga it’s not funny after hearing it for the 352nd time!
But I digress. A4A is like Splash on Tuesdays or that really good Mars
party I went to at Webster Hall last week (Hey baby! **wink wink**). A
mostly black, but a somewhat mixed crowd, definitely not so
pretentious, a little more easygoing and the shade factor is much, much
less. It is though a little more “hook up-ey” due to the professionals
that can advertise there “services” there and the (mostly sex) party
listings. While the patrons aren’t all ugly, largely they aren’t as
attractive and as well put together as the BGC party.
M4N aka Men4Now.com:
M4N is the site that is least like an actual club. Men4Now as the name
implies would be the online version of a sex party; like the one on Van
Siclen in East New York, or the one off of Moshulu Parkway in the Bronx
or perhaps like a balmy night in the heavier desolate brush of St.
Nicholas, Marcus Garvey, Prospect or the northern reaches of Central
Park (Don’t act like y’all know what I’m talking about… LOL). Men4Now’s
agglomeration of faceless pictures, DL brothers, and seedily concise
profiles that give only the sparcest of information (excluding HIV
status) are very much akin to the ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ anonymity of
your local neighborhood sex party. Some patrons laud the ‘get to the
point-edness’ of the site while others see it as a walking land mine; a
veritable haven for the “gurls who are sick”. The patrons are of all
ages, mostly black (but still a good multicultural mix), most likely to
be DL, and almost always ready to hook up immediately for no strings
attached carnal pleasure. It’s also the most likely place to be offered
money for all kinds of weird sexual (or not so sexual) services from
old, not-so desirable men. It’s the best place to go to if you are
looking to hook up or even just to observe how the other half lives but
be sure wear gloves and wipe your keyboard down after. And if you
decide to actually do something with someone you met there it would
behoove you more than usual to be safe about it, but I’m sure you
always are.
The most important thing kids is just not to get caught up. Many a relationship has died because of someone refusing to let the whole online/club thing go. I guess once you meet someone online and you start to date them and like them and develop feelings for them there always seems to be that sneaky little insecure voice that says:
“Well, he met me online, what’s to stop him from meeting some one else online.”
or the other one that says:
“I like him, he’s kewl but what am I missing by not getting online? Maybe I can find somebody better.”
Both voices though they slightly differ are both derivatives of insecurity and fear. I look at it this way, if I like someone and they like me and we are getting to know one another and are spending time together when would we find the time to cruise other guys online or in the clubs for that matter. I believe that a relationship should progress naturally. I shouldn’t have to ask my new online friend to cancel his account and he shouldn’t have to ask me. If we are really into eachother the internet usage should reduce gradually. And if a considerable amount of time (not a week! or even a month or two! shocking!) has passed and he or I is feeling uncomfortable with it that is when we have a talk about it and evaluate the strength of our feelings for eachother. All in all just be safe and have fun. No need to stress yourself out. Mr./Mrs. Right (or at least Mr./Mrs. Tolerable) will come along if you stop looking so hard for him.
