Stepping out of the subway station this morning on the way to work I walked through a gloomy and desolate Times Square. Sanitation trucks, damp, stubborn confetti and freshly moved police barricades the only evidence that over a million people stood right here at this very place, this triangular square, only but a few short hours ago. As I took a shortcut through the corridor outside the Minskoff Theatre I picked up a small, dry square of green confetti and placed it in my coat pocket, knowing that that was the closest I'd ever get to spending my New Year's Eve huddled with a mass of strangers at Times Square. I, like most native New Yorker's would never be caught dead doing such a thing. The whole Times Square, New Year's Eve thing is for tourists. I spend enough time with them, annoying the hell out of me at the hotel everyday, Lord knows they are the last people I want to spend my after hours time with. No thanks. Although I the party I went to last night wasn't nearly as big it sure was interesting.
I started my New Year's Eve off last night like I've started off every New Year's Eve my whole life, at church. The last time I'd been to church was last New Year's Eve, well there was my sister's wedding back in May but I guess that doesn't really count. I went to my best friend Mike's church, like I did last year, for New Year's Eve or Watch Night service. Watch Night service, a years old tradition in Christian churches is an alternative to the debauchery and lasciviousness of secular New Year's Eve celebrations. In more recent times it has taken on an additional meaning in the African American community. Midnight, January 1st, 1863 was when the Emancipation Proclamation was enacted. This document, issued by President Abraham Lincoln basically freed the slaves. Having such a significant moment in history coincide with the Watch Night services and other religious gatherings already going on in the African American community added a new layer of meaning to Watch Night.
The service started at 10, me being me, fashionably late, even for church, I didn't arrive until about 11:40. I had to stop by the ATM, ('cuz ya know I wasn't gonna go to church and not give nothin') and the liquor store on the corner so I'd have something to bring to the party I was going to after church. I also brought a bookbag along to stash the bottle of wine I bought. I didn't need the church folks to be all up in my business. It was hell (forgive the pun) getting a cab, but finally I got one and arrived to church. After the service Mike and I ate baked chicken, with king-sized helpings of baked macaroni and cheese and potato salad, carb city. I'm soooooo not eating like that anymore now that the holidays are over.
From there we left. Mike and I walked to the train station and we parted ways, Mike going downtown to a club, Me going uptown to a party with a new guy I'd just started seeing. Since we're spent New Year's together we're gonna call this guy, "'08". '08 is Dominican, tall, thin, about my height and beautiful, just like I like em'. I told him earlier the day before that I didn't have any concrete party plans for New Year's and he insisted that I spend it with him at the party his family was having. I shied away from the invite at first. I mean, I hardly know '08, and even though I would be introduced to his family as a friend, maybe it was too soon, if at all, for all of this. But he insisted, telling me that it was no big deal and that the party was a birthday celebration for his father and that there'd be a stripper there. Stripper? Like ass-giggling, titty-bouncing, pussy-poppin-on-a-handstand, stripper? Alrighty, I was officially intrigued.
So I arrived to the party, not knowing what exactly to expect. '08 opened the door for me and there I was, a lone black guy in a sea of Spanish-speaking Dominicans, all crowded against the walls of the kitchen and the livingroom, awaiting the arrival of the evening's entertainment. I was right on time. As '08 took my coat and bag I presented his mother with the bottle of wine I'd been hiding from the church folks all night. She smiled warmly at me, shocked that I would think to bring something. I'm nothing if not classy. You can't just roll up in a house party and don't bring nothin'. My mama taught me better than that.
I was finishing my first Corona when I noticed that the house was at it's maximum capacity. I even noticed that a few more black folks had trickled in. The stripper finally came out. As everyone at the party started to crowd around her, '08', the unofficial photographer for the night, brushed past me, took a light grab at my dick and flashed me a sly, sexy smile as the stripper prepared to perform. Eve's "Tambourine" played almost inaudibly on an old stereo in the background.
The stripper was a black woman, she looked like she was around 30, with a long black leather coat with a black faux fur collar on. She whipped the coat off in front of '08's father, sitting on the far side of the living room, revealing a violet-colored, stringy bathing suit, white knee high fishnet stockings, several tattoos, and a plethora of other battle scars. Her and her shiny, golden brown, kanekalon crimped wig and her scant bosom weren't gonna win her any beauty pageants, but it was her ample, gelatinous ass that was paying the bills.
She twirled and tworked around, grinding, writhing and gyrating all over '08's dad to cheers and shouts from all the revelers at the party, male and female. She continued to grind on him and then asked "Where's Mommy?" and
grinded on '08's Mom as well, which out of pure discomfort sent her
fleeing from the scene. Things didn't start getting interesting until she laid on the floor and started doing tricks. When she threw her legs up and her head back and pulled an illuminated ball and string from her vagina, that's when I dropped my first dollar. Then I realized that this, January 1st, 2008 was the first time I had ever seen a vagina in person before, and frankly (no offense to my female readers, you know I love you all) I wasn't impressed. As you all know I'm a gold star homo and have never been with or had the desire to be with a woman before. Looking into her cavern I began to question myself. Is this was what my mother, and Russell, and all the teenage knuckleheads I grew up with in school made such a big deal about? "Yo, son, you gotta get you some pussy, yo. You gotta get that dick wet. Nigga, I'm telling you all you need is some good pussy, son." Here is pussy, right here in front of me, I mean, I guess it's good, the other guys seem to like it, in fact they're mesmerized by it, staring into it like a Magic Eye puzzle, and I don't want it. I'm officially a homo. I haven't a doubt in my mind.
The poontang pageant didn't end there ladies and gentlemen. She straddled and rode a dildo on the floor of the living room. At which one of the straight male revelers replies "She's such a whore." She poured candle wax down the crack of her ass. She sprayed whipped cream on that same ass and rode an older gentleman's face. She spread eagle on a chair and let the guest of honor fuck her with a glow in the dark dildo. This is when the dollars really began to fly. Some overzealous attendees placed dollar bills on her clitoris at which she snapped "Uh uh, not on my pussy!" And I mean, c'mon guys, how y'all gon' put dirty dollar bills all on the woman's pussy? That's just not right. She even grinded up on me for a little bit and still, no dick movement whatsoever. I'm so gay.
The apex of the evening, the trick of all tricks, the one that amazed the men and had the women at the party taking notes was when she laid back down on the floor, threw them legs up, cocked her head back, opened a bottle of Poland Spring and stuck it in her vagina. I looked on in amazement as the water started to disappear. Her pussy was drinking the water! Just then she spun around on her back, removed the bottle and made water gush from her pussy like Old Faithful. Then she did it again. Oh my goodness, I'd never seen such a thing in all me life! The last time I'd seen "Pussy Control" even close to that was that time with Penelope on the park bench. But even that couldn't compare to this. This was amazing, even the women were in awe. She got two more dollars just for that. Knowing that she had a captive audience she then demanded, Ronnie from "The Player's Club" style, that twenty more dollars be dropped on the floor immediately before she continued to perform. And she got it too. She rolled around on the floor and did some more tricks.
By that time I found a place to sit far away from where I may be sprayed by gushing coochie water, ass-flavored whipped cream, glitter and who knows what else. I had gotten my fill of punanny for the night, for the year actually. Soon after the stripper left, they turned the merengue back on and couples started dancing on the living room floor. By that time I had had my third Corona, I was officially tipsy and an honorary Dominican. Soon after that the party died down and '08 and I left.
The coolest thing about '08's family was their openness about their sexuality. They know, parents, brothers, cousins, friends and neighbors and are all cool with '08 being gay, and having dates and boyfriends and are all so supportive of him. His mother didn't mind her husband having a stripper at the party and she was even there to share in the experience. The women at the party didn't feel put off or uncomfortable about their men enjoying the strip show. How cool is that? I wish my family and friends I grew up with were that cool. What a nurturing environment that must be for him? I'm a little jealous. Maybe it's a cultural thing, but most black families, at least the ones I know of, are way more reserved and repressed when it comes to sexuality than that of our Hispanic counterparts, at least from my experience. I think we all can stand to be more open about our sexuality. People would be less apt to do dangerous and harmful things if they didn't have to deal with being shamed by their loved ones for just being themselves, ya know?
My New Year's Eve 2007, ran the gamut, from church to Coronas, from saints to strippers. I'm sure that few of those revelers down at Times Square last night had as much fun as I did. Just to think, yesterday morning I was uncertain of my plans and then ended up having the best New Year's ever. I can't wait until next year. I'm so ready for all of the wonderful things that 2008 is going to bring. Aren't you?
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
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Playing In The Background...
"Tambourine"
by Eve
from the album "Here I Am"
and
"Pussy Poppin'"
by Ludacris
from the album "Chicken-n-Beer"
and
"Pussy Control"
by Prince
from the album "The Gold Experience"
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